finale - doggerel bank lyrics
well i grabbed him by the flaps behind his swallowtail coat
i took a firm grip on his turkey red throat
i tied him tightly down upon that moving belt
jumped upon his stomach and then asked him how he felt
and then i pulled a lever at the head of the track
it said “danger, do not touch” and it said “forward, stop and back”
there was a grinding roar like a thunderburst
the whole d*mn factory went into reverse
the directors and executives and high*powered reps
there was nothing they could do but follow in their master’s steps
they climbed aboard behind him, looking pale but dignified
started bouncing down the rollers on that long last ride
chairman of the board, he got a firsthand look
at an overhead gantry with a hundred weight hook
he really looked impressed as it hit him ‘tween the eyes
then it stripped him of his pants as it bit into his flies
the next attraction had him on a mobile jig
while a suction pump digested his carnation and wig
its reciprocating action from a piston underneath
dislodged his contact lenses and the gold from out his t**th
well then it introduced him to a multiple punch
and he got a burst of rivets in the belly for his lunch
then a rack and pinion trolley hauled him out through the top
past the recreation center to the paint spray shop
well he entered in an attitude of deep repose
and he left it dripping b*ttercup cellulose
then an iron grab had got him in its rusty jaws
swung him round the brickyard and then back in through the doors
well he landed in a ladle on an elevated grill
ran right down the center of the foundry mill
and ended where they smelted all the mineral ores
white hot bubbles and furnace roars
the chairman of the board rolled slowly over the men
his legs were folded backwards like the knees of a hen
he was looking straight ahead between his shoulder blades
the tears were rolling slowly down his battered face
as he neared the throbbing cauldron with his hands upraised
like a monarch in a state landau, he graciously waved
when his ankles hit the surface, they exploded in steam
he opened wide his mouth and then he sank
when the cheering had subsided, i was stuck behind a shelf
and the whole d*mn factory was dismantling itself
i watched the long assembly line and track disintegrate
i tried to find the lever but i got there too late
the machinery methodically just took itself apart
the engine shed, the packing plant, the ventilator shafts
the dust and debris settled where the powdered mortar swept
in the unaccustomed sunshine, i stood up on the steps
the cool wind threw me, blew my mind and anyway, i wandered off
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