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cosmos 105.7 (skit 4) - doctor destruction lyrics

[skit: buck naked, doctor destruction, kyle, sharon]
buck naked 105.7 you are cruising through the cosmos
doctor destruction is nearing the end of our known universe
which means we are all almost dead
however, we’ve pulled all the stops to try to get him to rethink his decision
and you’ll find that out in just a moment
doctor destruction are you there?
yo is this the f*cking radio again dawg? yo literally* yo i’m hanging up
no no no no! wait! wait! just one second, okay?
we actually*uh*we have a special surprise for you
what you mean? what kind of surprise?
so you’re uh* you’re definitely destroying our entire universe because of your relationship with your ex girlfriend sharon who broke your heart is that right?
bro what the* how many f*cking times do i have to say it? yeah, duh!
so you’re k!lling innocent lives all over the galaxy? i just want to clarify
yes! and i cannot wait to k!ll you! you f*cking c*nt f*cking assh0l*!
we have somebody here who would love to actually talk to you about that, sharon, you are on with doctor destruction
i cannot believe you would do this! i just can’t believe* i don’t understand how you could do this!
sharon? sharon no! sharon calm down baby! baby no!
this is why i left you! this is why i left you, okay? first of all, change your f*cking voice! that’s not your voice
baby you know i can’t do that, this is my voice
change your f*cking voice, clarence
hah! this n**** named clarence!
sorry about that folks, that was one of our producers who got a little out of hand there, uh please continue you two
look sharon, after you did what you did, you f*cking broke my heart girl you know what i’m saying? and i wanna* i wanna love you, i want you to love me!
clarence, how the f*ck can i love you if you’re evil! like, duh clarence! what am i? a f*cking idiot?
i thought that’s what you loved about me, i though that’s why we fell in love girl
no clarence we fell in love because i met you at the swap meet and you was kinda cute at the time clarence!
what do you mean at the time?
well before* well before you f*cking altered your face and how you be looking
okay but the real question is, sharon do you think you could ever love doctor destruction again and possibly stop him from destroying our entire universe?
look, okay? i am sorry radio guy or whatever the f*ck, but no! i can’t! i can never love you again clarence! look at what you’ve done to me! so you’re just gonna have to destroy everyone! every sharon! every single sharon including me!
oh yeah? aight then b*tch!

- doctor destruction lyrics

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