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mama (a dream) - do not use in empty fields lyrics

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[verse]
all f-cking started when i was a little boy
one parent dead, with the other unemployed
mama just sat on the couch smoking weed
never gave a f-ck about the child she was meant to feed
i knew she didn’t care, but i still had love
i needed some help from the lord above
i laid in my room, thinking ‘bout my future
did i really want to spend the rest of it with her?
no. i didn’t. she was nothing to me
i said i had love, that’s how i tried to be
but she never returned it, didn’t give a f-ck
i try to talk to her but she just struck…
my cheek!
left a big f-cking bruise, made me shriek
i was sick of this, couldn’t take it no more
but she hit me again, pushed me to the floor
screaming at me but i couldn’t hear no syllables
i knew this time, it was unforgivable
i knew what i had to do, did not like it
no smacks after this, not a single hit
n0body telling what to do either
just sit down, take a f-cking breather
that’s what i told myself, but it was too late
i knew that death had to be mama’s fate
i grabbed a knife and laid on my bed
i hated this, but i couldn’t get it out my head
clock turned 1 am, had a feeling in my gut
that she wouldn’t be home until i heard the door shut
this was it, my time to strike
i saw the glimmer on the knife’s spike
i was ready to take that wh0r-’s life
prove my dad wrong about his lovely little wife
i crept out my room with the knife behind my back
asked her how she is, returned with a smack
went for a second, but i stopped her hand
i was not scared, ’cause this was all planned
pulled the knife out and dug into her chest
i had succeeded in this f-cked up test
pulled out the dagger, watched her collapse
went to her bedroom drawer, found stacks and stacks
of money, presumably from drug dealing
i don’t know why, but i had a f-cking gut feeling
heard knocks at the door, knew who it could be
was her customers, they could be coming for me
so, i ran to my bedroom and opened the window
jumped up to it, had legs dangling real low
i looked at the concrete just 6 stories down
was this the way i had to get out of this motherf-cking town?

[outro]
woah! what the f-ck?
(ringing)
man, i just had the craziest dream…

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