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on the surface - dmc carat lyrics

[noria beats]
on the surface lookin’ fine
but on the inside i am dying
speak about the past
but every time i do i’m lying
talk about the things
that i went through that i’m denying
it’s hard to live a life like this
but i am really trying
can’t get a grasp on my feelings
slowly feel like i’m flyin’
can’t talk about my mom
cuz every time i do i’m crying
hard to see her when i know
that she won’t be the same
lord please tell me why you had to take my mom away
how come she can’t be the same
when i was being raised
how come she can’t be the same
when she was gettin’ paid
jus’ wanna have my mom back
i wish things were still the same
i have so many questions
that run deep inside my brain
only god can answer
so i wish upon my grave
i prayed every night that things
wouldn’t be this way
but i guess i gotta get through livin’ for today
made it out the storm
but it just started to rain
feelin’ so depressed
i got pills inside my veins
wanna just let go
of all the hurt i feel today
move on to the real me
i think that i’m still insane
take a look into my life
an’ you can see the pain
starting to feel trapped
i think i need some time away
wanna just be happy
but it’s never here to stay
always temporary
i hope god’s comin’ my way
cuz i am feelin’ locked up in a cell
somebody get me out this h*ll
it’s like i’m goin’ crazy
an’ i cannot accept help
deep in my emotions
at the bottom of the ocean
with some sharks around
sayin’ to prevail
i got a lot that’s on my mind
but its a story i can’t hide
i run away from all my problems
if you ask i’m feelin’ fine
feelin’ so depressed in my heart
i cannot lie
it breaks me down
to call up my momma and hear her cry
so much on my plate
i’m contemplating suicide
gun up to my head
just let me say my last goodbye
really wanted to be different
really thought i had the mind
never close to perfect
when i saw into my eyes
death is my best friend
i really hope that we cut ties
i pray to god that my music is touching people’s lives
tried to block the devil
but he still got inside

- dmc carat lyrics

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