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every time - dj spuddzz lyrics

[verse 1]
every time i write a song, i try to rap like biggie smalls
but the best thing i can rap about is having itchy b-lls
and the calls that i make as an umpire are always wrong
every time i call the tackle high, they’ve held the ball too long
every time i raise my beers, n-body cheers
every time i try to make a joke, it ends up in tears
every time i have pets, they’re taken to the slaughter
every time the day care bully picks a victim, it’s my daughter
every time i ask a question, the answer’s no
every time i get a good girlfriend, she’s a ho
every time i play tennis, i get aced
every time i cover up my footsteps, they get traced
every time i rob a bank, i pick an empty vault
every time something goes wrong, it’s my fault
every time that i believe in something, they burst my bubble
every time i order single ice cream, they give me double
every time the teacher talks, i forget to pay attention
every time i ghost write a song, i never get a mention
every time i try to rap, it sounds kind of cr-p
every time i take a nap, i wake up in a trap
every time i bake a cake, it tastes like steak
every time i mow the lawn, i do it with my fake rake
every time i drop a track, people think that i’m a stoner
every time i see a picture of my ex, i get a b-n-r

[verse 2]
every time i f-ck a wh-r-, she’ll always ask for more
so i’ll break her jaw and make her sore, give her a gun to take to war
every time i pop a vein, i am in a lot of pain
every time i miss my train, i am left out in the rain
every time i’m in a silent room, i fart
every time i run a race, i’m out of breath before i start
every time i float my boat in my moat, i sink
every time i try to print in red ink, it comes out pink
every time i flop my d-ck, everybody wants a lick
every time i try a sick trick, i just look like a pr-ck
every time i pop a pill, it’s prescribed by dr phil
check my wallet, all i have is a five dollar bill
every time i make my bed, i leave creases
every time i eat bread, i have the end pieces
but every time i eat the bread, it goes stale
every time i go to jail, no one pays me out on bail
every time i have mail, it’s just an empty box
every time i step on rocks, i get holes in my socks
every time i ride a horse, it breaks out of the stable
every time i don’t get my third course, i eat the table
every time i take medicine, it makes me crook
every time i do a song, i forget the hook
every time i’m at the library, i make a lot of noise
every time i make a promise, i go and dog the boys

[verse 3]
every time i start a new verse, i don’t rehe-rs-
every time i’m on commercial radio, i curse
every time i w-nk, i c-m enough to fill a tank
every time i order maple syrup, i get purple drank
every time i’m hungry, we are out of food
every time i step up on stage, i get booed
every time i try to p-ss in the urinal, i miss
every time i request cold chisel, they play kiss
every time i drop the b-ss, it lands on my face
every time i explore, i end up in the same place
every time i walk, i seem to shift a tec’ plate
every time i play chess, first move, i get in checkmate
every time i roll green, it’s peppermint chewy
and every time i light up, it gets pretty gooey
every time i drink beer, it’s from a shoe
every time i hear a bad rumour ’bout me, it’s true
every time i visit new zealand, i’m attacked by sheep
every time i try to count them, i still don’t get any sleep
but every time i only try to rest, i fall into a slumber
every time i have to get zucchini, i get cuc-mber

- dj spuddzz lyrics

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