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law & order - divorcee lyrics

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a man selling knives at three a.m on tv
with the sound off i re-read your mothers letter
i can’t sleep
i almost sent her my only picture unframed
of you at 5
with your book on trains
but she told me not to write or call
but she apologized when you put the tv through the wall
she thinks it was me that brought you to berkeley
like you never touched whiskey before me

and living with you is like driving in the rain
i can’t see where i’m going, but i still don’t press the brake

what happened after the year that we got through
maybe even with the belt that i bought you
a woman is strapping her arm
after fighting she’s finally calm
i can hear you say her name appeasingly
like you did with mine when you were teasing me
by midnight each night we had sunk to the floor
on the deflating air mattress we blamed the cats for
when you looked at me as you stood in the door
i rolled my eyes and turned on law and order

and living with you and being blindfolded are the same
i can’t see where i’m going and it makes my headache

now the tv is replaying annie hall
and i swear woody allen has your walk
i squint my eyes and see you with annie
arm in arm
with the sound off i hear the alarm

and living with you is like hair going down the drain
we lose and lose until we are drowning in a lake

we drove out to see you in your best friend’s car
looking for your name we walked in circles for an hour
and in the end we chose a spot and took turns, i sat down
and told you something and picked the dried gr-ss on the ground

and living with guilt is counting up the sins
i can only look back and seen where i’ve been

but i couldn’t stop what you did to your veins
and you wouldn’t have allowed me, anyway

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