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whatever it takes (parody) - divine comedy (byu) lyrics

[verse 1: woman]
falling too fast for the new rm
college is a world that is dangerous
everybody dating – it’s vulturous
i’m sleepless and anxious
everybody waiting for a goodnight text
everybody praying for a spouse to kiss
everybody hoping they would find the one – i was born for fun, it’s time to run

[pre-chorus: man]
dates, dates, scare me like the black plague
wish i could just graduate
why is single seen as wrong?
i just don’t wanna flip, flip
on this crazy chick, chick
naive as a dipstick
why is single seen as wrong?

[chorus: both]
whatever it takes
’cause i never wanna be desperate or insane
[chorus: woman]
i do whatever it takes
’cause i love being me without the pressure to change
whatever it takes to keep my eye on school, not planning wedding cakes
’cause i lack the will to date in my veins
i do what it takes

[verse 2: woman]
hair’s in a bun, it’s typical
looking at my body feeling single
but i don’t need a man to feel incredible
don’t wanna mix and mingle
[verse 2: man]
parents view my years as a martyrdom
relatives ask what’s wrong with ’em
never be enough, i’m the prodigal son
now i’m being shunned, can i please be done?

[pre-chorus: both]
dates, dates, run away like a racehorse
don’t wanna end in remorse
breakups suck and i don’t need em
[pre-chorus: man]
i’ll stick with my chip, chip
i don’t need your lips, lips
you can sail that ship, ship
why is single seen as wrong?

[chorus: woman]
whatever it takes
’cause i don’t need to share my food with anyone
i do whatever it takes
’cause i love how it feels saying “table for one”
[chorus: man]
still got five more study abroads ’til i’m ready so just put on the brakes
no, i don’t wanna kiss you in the falling rain
you’re such a fake

[bridge: woman]
hypocritical, egotistical
don’t wanna be a super cynical, stereotypical
working on a gpa i’m proud of
haven’t been cursed
i’m just not looking for a bachelor till i’ve earned one first
i’m an anomaly
i’m just that person who doesn’t wanna rush into things
don’t tell my parents i’m a menace to society
[bridge: man]
and yet a masterpiece, single’s not diseased
social life’s not deceased
always talking ’bout plenty of fish in the sea
but i guess moses must’ve parted that for me
’cause love’s a dry lake

[chorus: both]
whatever it takes
’cause i never wanna be desperate or insane
i do what it takes
’cause i love being me without the pressure to change
whatever it takes
if you think i’m sad, stop – i’m ready for
whatever it takes
’cause i lack the will to date in my veins
just give me a break

- divine comedy byu lyrics

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