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tales from the laundry room - dirty laundry lyrics

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here’s a short story
about a man named harry
he didn’t realize
that he could have lost his life
he did a bad thing
a very, very bad thing
he should have thought first
before he jumped the gun

what’s the matter with you harry
to make you do something like this?
what the h*ll could have gone wrong?
did your mom put
orange juice in your cereal?
feed you tofu, instead of veal?
wash your clothes in a toilet bowl?
ohhh*ohhh*ohhh*ohhh*ohhhhhhhh

it happened one sunday
in the month of june
his hopes weren’t up
not even in bloom
he had a flatulating
gross thought
he thought, what the h*ll
it’s something he could do
he took a dump in the laundry basket!

the clouds came roaring
under the sun
h*ll broke loose. he thought
“what have i done?”
so he ran
like a wimp
he couldn’t stand the fact
that he was a gimp
the most dumb thing
he’s ever done
even worse than stealing bubble gum
he got a feeling
not a normal feeling
it was a feeling like oatmeal in your shoes

so the feds came
and said, “what a shame
you should be religious
not ambitious”
harry spoke up
as they put him in a truck
he said, “what’s this cr*p?
i see through your trap”
so the feds went far, far away
and never came back to harry’s another day
harry wasn’t a loser anymore
but boy were his parents p*ssed

here’s a short story
about a man named harry
he didn’t realize
that he could have lost his life
he did a bad thing
a very, very bad thing
he should have thought first
before he jumped the gun

what’s the matter with you harry
to make you do something like this?
what the h*ll could have gone wrong?
did your mom put
orange juice in your cereal?
feed you tofu, instead of veal?
wash your clothes in a toilet bowl?
ohhh*ohhh*ohhh*ohhh*ohhhhhhhh

- dirty laundry lyrics

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