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santa and the satellite - dickie goodman lyrics

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[sample of “jingle bells” christmas carol]
here is a news bulletin
santa claus has been kidnapped by sp*cemen from a flying saucer
which landed at the north pole

“be on the lookout for santa claus
last seen wearing…”
(black slacks, brrr, black slacks)

we take you now to the white house
for an interview with the president

mr. president, mr. president!
(keep a*knockin’ but you can’t come in)

mr. president
have you a word on the santa claus kidnapping?
(woww!)

we have just received a report from the fbi:
santa has been taken to a satellite circling the earth
we take you now to the satellite

this is john cameron cameron, downtown sputnik
we are here in the sputnik jail with santa claus
wait, what’s that sound?
the satellite men are coming this way
(whoa*oh*oh whoa*oh*oh oh*oh)
(whoa*oh*oh whoa*oh*oh oh*oh)

i think the king of sputnik is about to speak
(all i want for christmas is my two front t**th…)

santa, have you anything to say to the satellite men?
(come on and do the jailhouse rock with me, let’s rock)

santa?
santa, santa! (everybody, let’s rock)
i know how you can escape
disguised as elvis presley
uh oh, looks like we’ve been spotted!
we return you now to earth

we’re now at the north pole
where a rocket is being launched
to catch the satellite and rescue santa

control tower to rocket
prepare to blast off
(awww, let’s go)
will the rocket be successful?
will santa be rescued?
turn the record over and find out

the rocket sent to rescue santa claus has failed
with sadness, the president speaks
(holy mackeral!)

the secretary of state has this statement
(our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot)

in london, at a meeting of parliament
your majesty, have you a statement to make
on this terrible tragedy?
(goodness gracious!)

we take you now to moscow
we’re here with the premier of russia
comrade, the rocket has failed
what do we do now?
(come back tomorrow night and try it again)

here is a report from tokyo
this is radio tokyo
the imperial government has this message
(ooh, la la)
meanwhile, back on the satellite
(whoa*oh*oh whoa*oh*oh oh*oh)
this is john cameron cameron, downtown sputnik
(whoa*oh*oh whoa*oh*oh oh*oh)
the satellite men are closing in
(whoa*oh*oh whoa*oh*oh oh*oh)
we can hear them outside saying (whoa*oh*oh…)
(let me in, or else i’ll beat down your door)

santa has just escaped through the chimney
disguised as elvis
we return you now to earth

if you should look up at the sky this christmas eve
and see a flying saucer pulling eight reindeer
chances are, it’s santa claus

merry christmas, earth people…!

- dickie goodman lyrics

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