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piece of baloney - dick nolan lyrics

two irishmen and a newfie once went out for recreation
they carried enough provisions along to last a week’s vacation
but they got lost out in the woods the night was dark and lonely
and all of their provisions ran out except one piece of baloney
next morning when they all awoke at quarter after seven
one guy said i had a dream i dreamt i went to heaven
i met st. peter at the gate, he was riding on a pony
now i bet that you can’t beat that dream so give me the piece of baloney
now the other said i had a dream and it was a double feature
i also died and went to heaven and was welcomed by st. peter
he come up to me and put out his hand saying put ‘er there, moloney
i don’t that you can’t beat that dream so give me the piece of baloney
now the newfie said i must admit it’s true that you were dreaming
the reason that i know it’s true i was dreaming of you all evening
i saw you two go up above and gee but i was lonely
i thought that you would never get back so i got up and ate the baloney
now i hope this will be a lesson to you if you go out for recreation
make sure you take along enough grub to last a weeks vacation
the story that i told to you, i hope you don’t think it’s phoney
there’s always a smart newf around and there’s always a piece of baloney
yes, there’s always one smart newf around and always a piece of baloney!

- dick nolan lyrics

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