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the worst job in england - diana original broadway cast lyrics

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[ensemble]
the headline of 1980:

[queen elizabeth]
“playboy prince needs a lady”

[ensemble]
his mother grew quite upset

[queen elizabeth]
for he hadn’t found her yet
it was fine when you were new
but, good god, you’re 32 * what’s a monarch to do?
(spoken) there must be someone appropriate, charles

[charles]
you’d be surprised how few, mummy

[ensemble]
(sung) ladies here are royal kitsch
step right up and strike it rich!
by the way, there’s just one hitch:
it’s the worst job
the worst job in england!

[queen elizabeth]
we are in crisis! our popularity is declining, the public trusts us less and less…
[charles]
and you’re saying that’s my fault?

[queen elizabeth]
i’m saying your philandering isn’t helping matters
(sung) you’re the heir to the british crown
you were bred to settle down
our future queen should have no past
find her, charles, and find her fast!

[ensemble]
the boy just can’t decide

[charles]
i swear to god, i’ve tried

[queen elizabeth]
this is matricide!

[charles]
(spoken) well, there is one possibility:

[ensemble]
(sung) daughter of a british earl…

[charles]
(spoken) the youngest spencer daughter, lady diana
[ensemble]
(sung) lovely as an english pearl…

[queen elizabeth]
seemingly, the perfect girl

[ensemble]
for the worst job
the worst job in england!

[queen elizabeth]
(spoken) but didn’t you used to court her sister?

[charles]
sarah, yes, until she started mouthing off to the press about our relationship

[queen elizabeth]
that was stupid of her

[charles]
but diana’s different. she’s… very shy, and i’m certain she’ll be discreet. but i’m not certain this is what she wants

[queen elizabeth]
(sung) how could she not? she’ll be britain’s heart!

[ensemble]
though time to time, she’ll be torn apart…
[queen elizabeth]
she’ll have a staff all her own

[ensemble]
and not another moment alone!

[queen elizabeth]
she’ll be celebrated, our country’s pride

[ensemble]
and spend her life objectified

[queen elizabeth]
she’ll have a place in our history books

[ensemble]
and forever, she’ll be judged by her looks!

[queen elizabeth]
britain won’t be mollified

[ensemble]
till we have a princess bride

[queen elizabeth]
a country unified!

[charles]
a girl like her is hard to find

[queen elizabeth]
a princess we could get behind

[ensemble]
then again, keep in mind:
it’s the worst job, the worst job…

[charles]
a royal couple casts a spell

[queen elizabeth]
a royal wedding serves us well

[ensemble]
a fairy tale born in h*ll!

[queen elizabeth]
she’s the best girl

[ensemble]
the best girl
for the worst job, the worst job
it’s the worst job
the worst job in england!

- diana original broadway cast lyrics

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