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journal entry #7 - diamond desireé lyrics

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journal entry number seven

i’ve been reflecting over these past few months and there’s a lot to sift through

i’ve been on this journey to forgiveness thing and it’s way harder than i expected

it’s a process and i’m taking it day by day, but sometimes i replay it in my mind and i get so upset

other times i feel relieved that this particular chapter in my life is over

over time i’m realizing i’m holding on to so much anger

i keep seeing different videos and quotes on instagram trying to figure me out and diagnose me with someone else’s truth

but by taking a step back and sifting through my own emotions with god, it hit me that maybe

just maybe holding on to this anger gives me my own sense of power since i felt so powerless with all the rejection he put me through

that was good, huh?

i feel power by being upset and having the option to forgive him, but in turn it makes me feel bitter and worse about myself

why is that? i don’t know, but i do know i’m sick of being mad and i don’t want to be mad anymore

i’m choosing to let him go because i feel imprisoned with this anger and i want to stop feeling like i need to prove to myself that i’m strong enough
i want to release him fully and not feel defeated but proud of myself for doing that

i’ve been angry for so long

i think it’s time to choose some peace

don’t you?

- diamond desiree lyrics

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