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l'heautontimoroumenos (1857) (self-tormentor) - diamanda galás lyrics

no rage, no rancor: i shall beat you
as butchers fell an ox
as moses smote the rock in h0r-b—

i shall make you weep
and by the waters of affliction
my desert will be slaked
my desire, that hope has made monstrous
will frolic in your tears
as a ship tosses on the ocean—
in my besotted heart
your adorable sobs will echo
like an ecstatic drum
for i—am i not a dissonance
in the divine accord
because of the greedy irony
which infiltrates my soul?
i hear it in my voice—that shrillness
that poison in my blood!
i am the sinister gl-ss in which
the fury sees herself!
i am the knife and the wound it deals
i am the slap and the cheek
i am the wheel and the broken limbs
hangman and victim both!
i am the vampire at my own veins
one of the great lost horde
doomed for the rest of my time, and beyond
“to laugh—and smile no more”

- diamanda galas lyrics

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