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even - deficit lyrics

spoke with my conscience
said the path i’m walking
is a lonely one but if i’m honest doesn’t bother, me
soon as i stepped on it
knew i’d found my calling
but it don’t, give me the right to attack them like i’m flawless
see!

i’ve been reminded of how i lived before the rhyming, before the times when i had an outlet to channel the pain through, instead denied it
in the mindset, of put me down use it climb to new heights i’m rising family divided now i’m leading blinded when i speak my mind just keep in mind that
i had a rough upbringing and i don’t mean that’a
had’a tough beginning gotta wonder if i had’a been brought up swinging would i be a better person? no need for the verses pleased with the first p-ss-sh-t poor track that was easy on purpose speaking with thirst needin’ re-ssurance scream to be heard don’t believe that i’ve earned it
okay cut the quick sh-t stick on a speed limit so they listen to this bit
i’m telling you
i’m not right either never gonna agree but i’ve been down right evil
and this guilt is eating me
but you’re twisted reasoning
drove me to extremes can’t see the end, but i won’t be leaving!
for the sake of him
only 8 years old he’s taken sh-t, like a grown up, while you break and fit, shoulda shown your
strength taken the hit, not fold up
escape from this? i hope it
was worth the stress, just know that’
our trusts paper thin, you broke it!
not just you to blame though
took two to tango
the house was a warzone and you felt strangled verbally mangled virtually hanging by a thread you dangled perched on the edge looking down at the gravel thought to yourself this is more than i can handle end of the battle pills grab a handful
nothing broke me like seeing you had your eyes closed no choice but to breath through tubes nothing we could do but see it through whole f-cking room could see how desperate i was regret for the claws that came out with intention to cause nuf’ hurt to stop you
but i kept, going to the point that we almost lost you
there’s no bluff to call then for once you were trying the truth after all the “we’re not together we’re just friends you get it”
you lied to me and i won’t forget it
choked up and getting
emotional the best thing i can do is prove no matter what you do you’re still my mother and for some f-cking reason i love you!

my god i’ll miss it though
reminiscing when we would go all day everyday finishing missions on nintendo
can’t pretend to understand i don’t get you but i’ll be d-mned if i grow old still holding you for your debt to your oldest son
‘specially because i know what you went through to pack a happy demeanor day in and day out would wreck you so you created a bubble, i was a number 2 pencil (pop) but we’re even it’s over now, you hear me? we’re level!
i’m down from the high-ground died down firing shots when you lied down
oh sh-t, i missed
aiming for the leg i shot the head of this b-tch
what b-tch? that’s my mother! lost the respect that we had for each other, be brought back no we saw that go and flee although you’re free to show
who you are on a clean slate done with the fighting want you back as a teammate
know i preach hate leave you in a weak state
but the weapons are down now i’ve reached a-
new plain of peace and i’m down to teach what i’ve learned but please
don’t lie to me, i won’t lie to you
agreed?

- deficit lyrics

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