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plain white card - dee roscioli lyrics

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[ emily, spoken ]
h*llo! welcome to wicker witch of the west!

[ man ]
i’m looking for a plain white card
nothing fancy
nothing bright
just a regular rectangular card
that’s right!

[ emily, spoken ]
hmm, could be tricky… i’m not so into white…
this is luke, by the way!

[ man ]
i need to write “congratulations” on a plain white card
for my triplets’ confirmations
how hard can it be?!
white stationery

[ emily, spoken ]
doing my best here, sir!

[ man, spoken ]
you look familiar, son. have i seen you on tv?
yes, i have! you’re in a local commercial, aren’t you?
[ luke, spoken ]
uh, no…

[ man, spoken ]
huh

[ emily, spoken ]
this one’s got a tiny bit of glitter

[ man, spoken ]
uh, no
do we attend the same church? st. agnes

[ luke, spoken ]
no, my folks go to heavenly day, up on hillcrest

[ man, spoken ]
huh. ha, i swear i’ve seen you on tv!

[ emily, spoken ]
sorry we struck out on this one, but might i direct your attention to these handsome bird chapels. they’re just in!

[ man ]
handsome, indeed!
quaint little people
[ emily ]
the steeple’s where you pour the seed!

[ man ]
i’ll take one, please
for our backyard!

[ emily, spoken ]
super

[ man, spoken ]
word of advice?

[ emily, spoken ]
please

[ man ]
i suggest you invest
in a plain white card!

[ emily, spoken ]
thanks for coming in!
god, that’s all i sell. one per day. remind me why we live here!

- dee roscioli lyrics

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