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razor burn - deborah healy lyrics

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[verse 1]
sitting in the bathtub, shaving my legs
i got a yeast infection, so my p-ssy feels like bacon and eggs
i make sure to be careful and not cut my skin
last time i bled out before it had even even begin
ouch!

[verse 2]
oh f-ck, i cut myself again!
i need to tourniquet the wound before i bleed out again
wait, that blood seems like it could be a good use for lube
nothing like a shutdown of my sieve tubes
(s-xual moaning)

[pre-chorus]
wait, i feel weird
who’s that?

[chorus]
(deborah)
i’m deborah
it is me
j-lo will never drink my pee
(deborah)
i am nice
my discharge feels like ice

[verse 3]
where am i?
i’m in the himalayas
the squirrel inside my cervix is such a playa
wait, now i’m at the burlesque show
christina aguilera, watch out, no!

[verse 4]
oh dear god, her head was chainsawed off
now the pigs are eating it in their trough

[pre-chorus]
what a strange and funny day i am having
oh look over there, the twins are teabagging

[chorus]
(deborah)
i think i’m having a hallucination
fingering myself with my blood is causation
(deborah)
sigourney weaver i’m sorry for mauling your face
i’m tired of rhyming, get me out of this h-ll

[bridge]
s-x is only good if you stick a fork in it
someone tell michael’s corpse to stop jerking it
my poisonous femur blood fermented inside my cervix and gave me horrifying visions
i just want to go back to when gl-ss slipper was my best decision
wait, i think i’m finally waking up
finally i am free from this nightmare–oh my f-cking god my house is on fire what the f-ck do i do?

[chorus]
(deborah)
i’m deborah, and i have first degree burns all over my body
(deborah)
i’m deborah, the only thing that can solve this is some antibody

- deborah healy lyrics

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