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at my best - deathboy lyrics

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i’m getting paranoid again
i’m reconfiguring
slowly
these nights
when i try to decompress
i get lonely

it’s not like you give a f-ck if i’m ok
it’s not like you ever knew me anyway
and i don’t know why i even care
every time i see you sitting there

can’t seem to f-cking think of any words
a head full of verbs
none of which appropriate

you only seem to see me when i’m at my worst
a low-grade parasite
bivalve of approbium

you never see me at my best
i’m always drunk, trying to impress
apologise for the time we last met
playing catch-up in an infinite regress

i try to show you that i’m not what you think
knocking back my problems with another f-cking drink
and every chance i ever f-cking had of proving otherwise
i self-sabotage, i auto-demonize

it’s like a fairytale
sprinkle me with alcohol
i try to crush the paranoids with paracetamol

i live between the words
we dress up like we know them all
i am another demographic of the demerol

if i was you
and you were me
well, i wouldn’t blame you
for the things you f-cking see

one, two, i’m not like you
three, four, and i need some more
five, six, -n-lyse these tricks
seven, eight, never procreate

one, two, gonna push right through
three, four, on the cold, hard floor
five, six, with a tough remix
seven, eight, learn to hide your f-cking hate

- deathboy lyrics

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