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out here (closure) - deadpan lyrics

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[verse 1]
my job is trying to stay sane
protect the structure, but i’m feeling drained
keep the gutter clear, muddy tears
filtered through my f-cked up brain
negative routes taken again and again
where the f-ck are my friends?
i know this isn’t the end, but i’m sick of being depressed
why would i be scared of dying?
when my days are endless isolated crying?
trying
same old old news lately
fresh air precludes safety
chasing evasive feelings in rhyme pages
jittery, scribbling sh-t, my mind’s racing
pacing, don’t think this isn’t a cry for help
fumbling sh-tty hands my mind is dealt
find it out
going through it but i keep it to myself
so apathetic that i’m disregarding my health
no stealth
everybody knows, but i just still feel so f-cking alone
locked up on my own accord
if you hear this, save me from me
please set me free

[verse 2]
i won’t let myself be a cautionary tale
altering the awful sh-t, i’m off the beaten trail
walk tall, the way i was raised taught me to prevail
don’t talk to me if you think being depressed means that i’m lost and that i failed
no, self-imposed prison, this is abolition
tearing up floor boards, toss ‘em out
strongest i’ve ever been
war of my inner voices, i had to listen
to the one that had a plan, a vision
to get me out
so i step out, heart pounds
to everyone i love, i’m done being locked in
i’m gonna fight this sh-t every f-cking day until i win
i promise

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