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very mild superpowers - david odoherty lyrics

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i grew thinking
i was just an ordinary kid
just doing things
that ordinary kids did
but years p-ssed me and i began to see
certain strange abilities
i’m not a hero
but i’m not a freak
i just have…

very mild superpowers
very mild superpowers
like sometimes when i’m cycling
with headphones on
i can predict exactly where i’ll be
at the end of a song

very mild superpowers
frequently in kitchens where i’ve never been
i can sense the location
of the cups and crockery
i’m talking about

very mild superpowers
my legs aren’t bionic
my eyes aren’t x-rays
but i’m a very good judge of whether things will fit through doorways
(sofas, tables in particular)

but for every mild superpower
there’s a mild super-weakness too
i get nauseous round the smell of bins
i’m afraid of certain shop mannequins
i hate the cheese that’s individually sliced and vacuum-wrapped in plastic
i can never tell when people are being sarcastic…

(spoken)
“oh dave, i really like that new song”
“do you?”
“no!”
“oh…”
maybe that’s because you fear….

my very mild superpowers
look within
i’m not a mutant
i’m just a man
a man, who happens to be frighteningly good
at getting broken pens
to work… again

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