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dancing plague - dave malloy lyrics

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(the wind of a medieval dancing plague enters. 497 years ago fills the room.)

contestants:
dancing plague
dancing plague

post*medieval rats
and hilarious french hats
and also certain death

(the commentators town cry.)

(mo bends over with head in the stocks. perpendicular angle.)

samson:
anon n0ble lords, n0ble ladies of strasbourg!

mo:
bourg bourg bourg bourg—

samson:
how fairest thee all?

(collective groans/boos/hisses from the contestants/dancers.)

jaynie:
that means “good” in feudal french!
contestants:
if i was sixteen
in 1518
i’d already be half dead

so dance me to death
i’m ready

(ellie & zander are on a positive feedback loop of motion and
adrenaline.)

ellie & zander:
this is incredible
i’ve never felt so alive

ellie:
i feel good

zander:
you feel good?

ellie:
yes i do

zander:
so do i
ellie:
that makes me feel good

jaynie:
historical fact: in 1518, a mass hysteria swept strasbourg, france

mo:
a dancing plague

samson:
the strasbourg munic*p*l council did, for the sake of the common justice, make guildhalls so the afflicted souls might caper then to music!

jaynie:
and thus not suffer idly writhing awkwardly

mo:
silently so silently silently

samson:
if they by dance must march towards their demise, ’tis fitting to set their end to song

jaynie:
attend as the afflicted in their adrenaline*addled madness dance their hearts out!

samson:
tis no crime to stare!
mo:
i would stare too

contestants:
dancing plague
dancing plague

ellie & zander:
why do they complain
this is better than cocaine

contestants:
dancing to our death

samson:
poor abused europe just stricken by the plague of bubonic

jaynie:
the black death

samson:
twas one rough “dark ages.”

jaynie:
at least this plague has fewer rats
(as the rats nibble at mo’s feet.)

mo:
fewer rats doesn’t mean no rats!

jaynie:
don’t squirm

contestants:
if i was sixteen
in 1518
i’d already be half dead
so dance me to death
i’m ready

grace:
how did you get it?

tye:
i got it from my mom
fa la la la la
how did you get it?

harper:
i got it from the meat
fa la la la la

janelle:
you look so sweet
when you dance medievally
fa la la la la

harper:
fa la la la la…
not here janelle!

janelle:
sorry

samson:
tis no crime to throw rotten vegetables!

jaynie:
yet your aim must be precise and your arm quick, for those stricken by dance shall never
stop nor rest they in a single fixèd place

samson:
wherefore be it not right to throw rocks?

dakota:
how did you get it?

janelle:
maybe from a friend
oh my god cyrus
did i get this from you?

cyrus:
how did you get it?

royshanna:
maybe from the weed
fa la la la la

dakota, royshanna & nicki:
give me a pie
and a flagon of mead
fa la la la la
fa la la la la
fa la la la la

(samson ducks a rotten tomato.)

samson:
soft you now, what was that?

jaynie:
a rotten tomato?

samson:
nay not at us. tis not us whom you should catapult with rotten vegetables!

jaynie:
tarry nave! cans’t thou do no better than a rotten tomato?!

mo:
how about throwing a goose? a succulent goose!

(samson ducks a rock.)

samson:
was that a rock?

ellie & zander:
this is incredible
i’ve never felt so alive
my brain chemicals
are cooking in overdrive

(sprint siren and strobe light)

jaynie
hold fast, and hark! we entereth a sprint!

ellie & zander:
keep going keep going going
i’ll never sleep again
keep going keep going going
i’m using like 98% of my brain
keep going keep going going
my mind is unstuck in time

contestants:
my arm has a mind of it’s own
my leg is doing things i don’t think a leg should do
i keep telling my hips to stop but they don’t stop
they won’t stop
i don’t wanna be a zombie zombie
i don’t wanna tear myself apart
what if there’s hair
what if there’s blood
what if there’s all sorts of gooey stuff i don’t recognize

(ellie and zander are dancing themselves nearly to heart attacks.)

samson:
why act they thus?

jaynie:
i understand not what they do…

mo:
yeah what are they doing? no really – someone tell me * i can’t see anything bent over at this angle

contestants:
they’re speeding up

ellie & zander:
excellence

contestants:
they’re going nuts

ellie & zander:
accelerated

contestants:
they’re spazzing out
they’re blacking out

ellie & zander:
accelerated excellence

dj:
the metaphor couldn’t be clearer!
(dj hits the air h*rn.)

- dave malloy lyrics

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