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a bosom friend - dave malloy lyrics

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[starbuck, spoken]
oh queequeg’s a cannibal, that’s all!

[ishmael]
a cannibal!

well i don’t want to sleep with a cannibal!
i don’t wanna sleep with a cannibal!
maybe i’m prude, but it just seems kind of rude
and i don’t want to sleep with a cannibal

[all]
no he don’t want to sleep with a cannibal

[ishmael]
and i love new things, but i don’t wanna try this

[ishmael]
first thing i saw was his big harpoon and it scared me a little

[all]
scared him a little

[ishmael]
next thing i saw was his crazy tattoos and it scared me a little

[all]
scared him a little

[ishmael]
last thing i saw, he was holding in his hands it was a couple of [?] human heads
and that scared me a little, scared me a little bit too

when queequeg came in i cried

[all]
angels save me

[ishmael]
i said

[all]
cannibal don’t get too close

[ishmael]
and queequeg cried

[queequeg, spoken]
who are you! you no sleepee! you sabbee. [?]

[ishmael, spoken]
i just don’t want to sleep with a cannibal!

[queequeg]
oh- oh i understand
and i’m sorry for your little mind
yes i’m a cannibal- but don’t you wanna know what kind?

cannibalism is an outdated term and it needs to be rethunk i think
’cause it lumps together endo-cannibals, exo-cannibals, necro-cannibals, and homicidal cannibals
even though, they’re pretty distinct

[all]
endo-cannibals
exo-cannibals
necro-cannibals
and homicidal cannibals- distinct

[queequeg]
now i am a necro-endo, mostly
which means i just eat the people from my tribe
and i wait ’til they’re dead
[spoken]
eh?
oh i can see you’re hopeless
yojo, deliver me from basic bunkmates

[ishmael, spoken]
no wait, i’m sorry- i wanna learn!

[queequeg, spoken]
alright- try to keep up!
[sung]
if you love somebody don’t put them in the ground
b-tter them up and spread them around
i believe the flesh contains a bit of the soul
and it’s yummy when you put it in a c-sserole

[queequeg, spoken]
now i do sometimes eat people outside my tribe too, but only as a sacred ritual
[sung]
say that you’re engaged in a n0ble war
you finally win but what was the fighting for?
you can gain some wisdom when you [?]
by respecting their values and boiling their thighs

everywhere i go people have an opinion
that this is wrong, or this or that is right
ugh
everybody is talking politics or religions
but as a cultural relativist i’ve seen the light
[scatting]
zwadeebadadya

[ishmael, scatting]
zwadeebadyaday

[queequeg, spoken]
that’s right!

[scatting]
zabadabadabaday

[ishmael, scatting]
babababababababa

[queequeg, spoken]
too much!

[scatting]
scabodabodaboday

[spoken]
now take it slow!

[ishmael, scatting]
zabodabodaboday

[queequeg]
nice!
and you eat chicken

[ishmael]
and i eat beef!

[queequeg]
and those animals endure a lot of grief

[both]
and though you find my customs a little bit strange

[queequeg]
at least i know my beef lived its life free range

[ishmael, spoken]
why you’re just as much a human as me!

[queequeg, spoken]
um… yeah

[ishmael, spoken]
no, wait, i’m sorry, i mean- i’d be honored to share a bed with you

[queequeg, spoken]
don’t hog the covers- and try not to drool

[ishmael]
so i guess i’m gonna sleep with a cannibal
i guess i’m gonna sleep with a cannibal
while the foodies chomp and [?] on their pate d’foie gras
i’ll be snuggling with my bosom friend the cannibal

[all]
better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken christian

- dave malloy lyrics

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