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i spent the whole summer crying and i didn't know why - darby o'trill lyrics

i spent the whole summer crying and i didn’t know why lyrics
[intro: darby o’trill]
na na na na, na na na na, na na na
na na na na, na na na na, na na na
na na na na, na na na na, na na na
na na na na, na na na na, na na na

[verse 1: darby o’trill]
i’m drifting into the forbidden zone (yeah)
there’s a glitch in my brain i call missing know (oh)
if you can fix it then let me know cause living with this is just getting difficult (agh)
take my prozac, my zoloft, and my depakote
xanax, effexors, cymbalta and lexapro (yeah)
but the monster won’t let me go (no)
instead it seems he becomes more unbearable (agh)
pills in my stomach, sludge in my lungs
lysergic dissolving, corroding my tongue (yeah)
i once had a life but i sold it for drugs (yeah)
what use is a heart when it’s broken and crushed? (none)
i’ve always had problems with opening up (yah)
the world is so vile so who do i trust? (no one)
i feel like everything is stupid as f*ck (hahaha)
hate is so easy to confuse with love (yah)
is this what it feels like to drown?
i don’t know why all of this happened or how (why?)
i keep blacking out waking up on the couch
bleeding from both my wrists and foaming from the mouth (oh naw naw naw)
i’m just a freak on a leash (boom*da*da*mmm*dum*na*ee*ma)
carving my arm with the mark of the beast (ahahaha)
smoking some weed watching dragon ball z while i’m crafting a noose using goosebump sheets (hahaha)
[chorus: darby o’trill]
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside

[verse 2: darby o’trill]
i look in the mirror and receive a message
you’re a big pun with no talent intended (oosa)
look at myself in the eyes while i said it, i’ve never been one to give me any credit (hahahaha)
perusing the depths of my mind by each section (yah)
all have been overpowered by depression (ah hah hah)
toxins corrode my liver and intestines (uh)
my head full of nothing but unanswered questions (ahhh)
loathing myself in the dark of my room (yah)
to say i’m okay is so far from the truth (ugh)
drugs only make it much harder to move
the pain is forever, my body a tomb (yah)
new stabilizers don’t work anymore (no)
i’m still suicidal it’s worse than before (ya ya)
i wish i could break the confines of this corpse (uh)
forever i’m cursed to be stuck in this mental ward (hahahaha)

[chorus: darby o’trill]
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside
[verse 3: darby o’trill]
when i was just a kid i was (hahaha) kicked out of the bible study (why?)
because i had colored an angels wings black and made both of its eyeb*lls all bl**dy (hahahaha)
if there’s a god she don’t love me (don’t love me)
i lay in the plot you all dug me (you dug me)
using the dirt and the worms that surround me as an earthly blanket to cover my ugly (yeah yeah)
most of my life i have wanted to die, and to be honest i never knew why (why)
i might say i’m fine but i’m seldom alright i prefer to stay inside away from the light (hahahaha)
feeling so twisted like i was a mutant
the medication seemed to turn me so stupid
why am i here? i’m totally useless
i’m starting to doubt if i am even human
mechanical but how can you program a brain when it’s broken in so many ways? (how?)
i can’t be fixed so just throw me away (oh)
into a grave where i’ll slowly decay (yah)
my spirit descends to the realm of the shadows
my life wasn’t long but it sure was a battle (yah yah)
it sure was a battle, my life wasn’t long but it sure was a battle (hahaha)

[chorus: darby o’trill]
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside
i’ve spent most of my life sleeping on a bed of knives
i’m so dead inside, i’m so*i’m so dead inside

- darby otrill lyrics

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