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evil f***king wizard: a song about an evil wizard - danithan lyrics

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[verse 1]
there’s an evil f*cking wizard and he’s giving me some problems
‘cuz he’s turning all my chickens into stupid little rocks
so i’m climbing up his tower where he’s up there in the shower
and i’m punching evil wizard in his tiny little c*ck

he’s gonna pay for all my chickens when i punch his f*cking d*ck in
and he’ll lose two generations of his evil wizard kids
then i’ll beat him with a hammer in his evil wizard manor
’til he understands that he is just an evil wizard pig

i’m gonna shoot him with my handguns with both my hands in
tandem
’til he’s dead and all his blood is all across the f*cking walls
then i’ll drag his lifeless body down the stairs into the lobby
where i’ll pulverize his little f*cking magic wizard b*lls

i’ll remind him what i’m here for when i take him to the pain store
and buy him every single f*cking item that is there
and once that i’m the victor i will take a little picture
and to the pinterest boards the pretty little image i will share

[chorus]
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
[verse 2]
now atop the evil tower and the wizard will not cower
so i take a massive jab at his tiny little d*ck
but the wizard he is ready and because his hands are steady
he can cast an evil fireball like a f*cking pr*ck

so i grab my trust hammer and into his head i slam ‘er
and it brings about a really bad cerebral hemorrhage
he is shaken to his core and he topples to the floor
so i take advantage of this really awesome leverage

and i beat him ’til he’s dead and my hands are stained with red
now i’ve k!lled the f*cking wizard like an evil f*cking villain
then i put on his hat, i put on his robe
now i’m thinking to myself i think it’s time to do some k!lling

so i fly into the town and i cast a fireball
and i k!ll so many people that the kingdom it does fall
then i fly back to my tower with my magic wizard power
and i m*st*rbate to wizard p*rn for forty f*cking hours

[chorus]
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
[verse 3]
there’s an angry f*cking peasant and i’ve given him some issues
‘cuz i’ve turned all of his piggies into tiny little stones
and he’s marching up my castle like a little f*cking assh0l*
so i’m gonna have to break all of his angry peasant bones

he wants to beat me with a shovel, but we’re gonna have to tussle
and because that i’m a wizard i will surely f*cking win
‘cuz i’m gonna cast some spells that will send him straight to h*ll
like magic lightning to obliterate his brittle f*cking shins

but now he’s here and i’m not ready and he brought a sharp machete
and he’s lunging at me with a certain look upon his eye
so i try to dodge this f*cker, but he fools me like a sucker
and he stabs in such a way i think that surely i will die

with my final dying breath i look on over to my left
and i see that f*cking peasant reaching for my wizard orb
and as he ponders is with wonder i realize my fatal blunder
for the evil wizard cycle will repeat forevermore

[chorus]
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard
evil f*cking wizard

- danithan lyrics

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