dear you - daniel profeta (singer-songwriter) lyrics
dear beloved friend
i hope you’re doing well. it’s been months since last we spoke, but that’s my fault. i can feel you growing away. i can feel myself growing apart. i saw that you got engaged last week, congratulations! you look so happy together. your eyes glow and your smile is genuine. you seem utterly alive. i am not a confrontational person and it’s kind of difficult for me to express or explain stuff like this. but i’m going to say it anyway. so here it goes
remember when we talked late at night for hours? remember the text i sent that you said you read and reread? remember the feeling of staying up till it was light out and just talking about our hopes and dreams? i still think about that sometimes. i remember you said that my poetry seemed sad, and maybe that’s because i know my own heart and i knew how this was all likely to play out
f*ck it
remember when we were talking, and you slipped? you had said mean things before, but this was* you said you liked shutting me down, like, emotionally and i was shocked by how blunt you were as you continued, but each word stayed in my skull and ricocheted around. your honey was always laced with poison as it dripped from your sweet tongue into my ear…
always had to walk on eggsh*lls around you because you had lashed out before. you always knew exactly how to hurt me. it was like magic, and i already thought i deserved it. i always have, and i still do. but i digress
while i was making sure to never say something wrong, you knew that i can’t uphold my own boundaries, so you casually stepped over them countless times. in the name of honesty. well, i think i should try that for once. you ready? your eyes look dead. windows to a soul that doesn’t exist. the smile you wear is the fakest i’ve ever seen, well, since the last time we met. and i truly do hope you found someone better suited to what you need
you discouraged me at every turn, my friend. no matter what i did it was never good enough for you. you crushed my spirit and spat upon my soul. but now you’re gone, and i see the path i’ve chosen. i’m going to make it where i want to be without you, and you* you’re going to have the pleasure of getting to watch
once you told me you saw right through me. that i needed you like an addict needs their fix. that when you leave me, i would pine away for you for the rest of my meaningless life. that you knew i would always love you no matter how you treated me. i think it was your way of letting me know you knew exactly how wrong what you were doing was. it’s been a few months since i broke up with you and the hatred has cooled down till nothing remains but now a dispassionate pity
in the end i am saying nothing. nothing i have to say is of any importance, because i’m going to burn this, and you will never read any of it. if i cannot have my existence validated by my impact on the people around me, perhaps i can’t be sure i exist at all. but you know i do. and that’s good enough for me. this was bitter, but i wish you the best
goodnight my love, and goodbye
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