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first world problems - dane fyffe lyrics

[intro]
yo
is this it?
yo, amanda bynes what up!

[verse 1]
i’m disgruntled
and if you call me “fee-fee,” motherf-ck you!
my name is on the ep: dane fyffe, check 1,2
my main shorty left me when my dollar bills crumbled
she said she’s getting back with her uncle (but i love you!)
trouble: somehow, i always seem to f-cking run to
is that your wi-fi? (b-tch!), well i’mma take it from you
at a college party, some dude was selling mushrooms
n-ggas got so trippy that they started learning kung-fu
well i don’t do drugs. f-ck it if that makes me uncool
i’m sick of living life inside this bubble; i wanna break free!
and show the whole world that i merk bars
but everyone’s too busy watching nerds rap on worldstar (f-ck that!)
girls, cars, dollar bills, b-tches, hoes
that should be enough to get some kind of deal with interscope
i don’t know; it beats working hard for a paycheck
to end up worse off than when you started (am i dead yet?!)
issues: i probably have two or three to many
the problem is that usually my bottle’s half empty
what’s your mom wearing? i don’t mind sharing
tell your dad i’ll give her back after she slobs your aunt (really?)
i’m gritty as f-ck
when i’m not stuck in line behind the hulk’s stunt double
sauced up, at a starbucks
did you just spill my coffee cup? it wasn’t me, sir
well who the f-ck did?
i’m sorry! i’ll buy you another one
so, i’m a p-ssy; sue me
i snuck into the movies and panicked
i’m too young to go to juvie! (shhh)
you and me are probably nothing alike; i’m awkward
kind of like a dress on a dyk-
and i’ve been known to have a bit of bad luck on the mic
cause i’m the type to make a song and just f-ck it up like

[interlude]
[df:]ohhhh sh-t!
[mg:] ummm…
[df:] what?..what the…what the f-ck…what happened?!
[mg:] i don’t…ummm…maybe power failure, maybe?
[df:] power failure? what the f-? what’re you…what am i paying you for? this is a session-
[mg:] you’re paying me?
[df:] oh, right. this, this is a session! yo, get it together!
[mg:] wait, wait, got it. pulled the cord out, sorry
[df:] pulled the cord out? that’s what she said
listen! this is…do you know who i am right now?!
i just did a verse! i’m dane, this is dane fyffe right now, alright?
[mg:] well you sound like dane cook…sorry
[df:] f-ck. you

[bridge]
this is a song about first world problems (my life)
and my first world problems (that’s right)
i got first world problems
(this song is about nothing) f-ck it

[verse 2]
my homeboy bruce got hired at whole foods
b-tches love discounts, italian rolls too
i said cool (yeah!), in like an hour i’ll come through
we blasted elton john in the aisle where they sell fruits
for the record: i’m not g-y, just a sharp dresser
i’m at the pride parade eating finger food with ellen
i’m kinda like the stepson of the addams family
plus i only f-ck girls who look like carol channing
i could have m-ss appeal, have a deal, and a grammy
but i’d rather rap about my foot fetish fantasies
watch out, i’m getting sloppy head in coffee houses
walking out with type 3 diabetes in my wiener schnauzer
your coochie’s a nightclub and it needs a bouncer
i’m usually type buzzed when i’m eatin’ out, but
you got the att-tude and body to match
so please excuse my manners while i palm on your rack
oh, now you got a boyfriend? how awesome is that?
well, you ugly anyway; reverse psychology tramp!
yeah man, i got first world problems
i only fear the feds and broken condoms
regardless, you know the kid’s a motherf-ckin’ problem
(can we get on with it?) ahhh, f-ck it

[outro]
paula deen’s got first world problems
lance armstrong, first world problems (laughs)
who’s got first world problems?
yo, who’s got (laughs)
yo, it’s crazy
i don’t even know man
this is a song about first world problems
and my first world problems
i got first world problems
this song is about nothing. f-ck it

really, though? dane cook?

- dane fyffe lyrics

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