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the piano has been drinking (not me) - dan hicks & the hot licks lyrics

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the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
my necktie is asleep
**(tie is asleep)
and the combo went back to new york
**(back to new york)
the jukebox has to take a leak
**(gotta take a leak, now)
and the carpet needs a haircut
**(carpet needs a haircut)
and the spotlight looks like a prison break
**(it’s bright!)
’cause the telephone’s out of cigarettes
**(all outa ciggies)
the balcony is on the make
**(on the make)
and the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
mmmmm…

and the menus are all freezing
**(menus are freezing)
and the light man’s blind in one еye
**(blind in one eyе)
and he can’t see out of the other
**(can’t see out of the other)
and the piano*tuner’s got a hearing aid
****(say what?)
and he showed up with his mother
**(showed up with his mother)
and the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
mmmm mmm mmmmmmm…
and the bouncer is a sumo wrestler
**(the bouncer is a wrestler)
cream*puff casper milktoast
**(casper milktoast)
and the owner is a mental midget
**(mental midget)
with the i.q. of a fence post
(with the i.q. of a fence post)
’cause the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
mmmmm…

and you can’t find your waitress
**(can not find your waitress)
with a geiger counter
(geiger counter)
and she hates you and your friends
and you just can’t get served without her
(can’t get served without her)
and the box*office is drooling
**(box*office is drooling)
and the bar stools are on fire
**(talk about a hot seat!)
and the newspapers were fooling
**(they were only fooling)
and the ash*trays have retired
**(have retired)
and the piano has been drinking
**(piano has been drinking)
the piano has been drinking
**(not me, not me)
not meeeeeeeeeeeeee…
(meeeeeeeeeeeeee…)

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