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born on the fourth of july - dale firebird lyrics

man it’s my favorite day of the year bro
favorite day of the f-cking year
and i’mmq tell you why
’cause i was born on the 4th of july
only desert i f-ck with is apple pie
stars and stripes the only flag i fly
and i’mma wave the motherf-cker till the day i die
an onion ring
that’s what i call a vegetable
when i build a 3000 square foot family home in one day and also i do all the plumbing and all the electrical
come on down to the job site if you’re skeptical
the speed at which i hang drywall is f-cking incredible
let me ask you a question
you ever been to austin texas?
eatin’ a sausage breakfast
motherf-cker comes in talkin’ reckless
so you stab him in the throat with your shark tooth necklace?
if you said no, i can’t relate to you
if you said yes, i raise my drink to you
if you said [-gargling noises-]
i’m sorry man i might have went a little bit over board when i put that shank through you
the only pasta i eat is mac ‘n’ cheese
i don’t drive it, if it’s j-panese
i don’t buy it, if it’s made in europe
and i sure don’t eat it if it’s maple syrup
let me tell you something
next time you see me hanging out in winnipeg
that’s gonna be the same day you see a flying barbecue chicken leg
same day i go to the toilet take a sh-t out come a lizard egg
same day i won’t work for a living i go on the corner sit and beg
it’d never happen
not a chance in the world
i will k!ll you then f-ck your girl then choke slam a bear then strangle a squirrel
my name’s dale
don’t call me earl i’m serious man
i don’t know why but every time i go somewhere people call me earl there must be a guy out that look like me or something like that
dude named earl
i don’t know what it is i dont know if i have a lost twin brother or something like that
hold on man let me get you, get you like

- dale firebird lyrics

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