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guilty servant - cvons lyrics

[spoken:]
right now, i… i’m crying out to you, lord. i just.. i feel so incomplete, man
struggling… going through the motions.. just every day, hoping that something will change
and you know what? i know what i’m doing wrong. i just can’t justify it anymore, lord
i’m losing faith and i need you! i need you right now, lord!

[verse 1:]
please excuse me for these verses i’m abusing more
i’ve hardly tried improving, swore i’d cried these lines to you before
my conscience has been truly torn, i wear the same illusion, sure
i’d like to walk right through the door, but pain reaches down to the core
i’ll take a detour, now i’m straying off from the path that you havе built for me
come and strike mе down with the verdict, curtains close when i utter a guilty plea
i confess my faith to family to the worst of my inability, still at sea
on a lifeboat, no will to breathe, and it’s k!lling me
that i cannot see your face and probably won’t learn your name
when emotions are choking me, don’t believe there’s hope for me, pr*ne to seek
ways to cope with my own defeat, won’t look you in the eyes
for i’ll testify with lies, preserve my pride inside, it’s you i will deny
i claim that we’re so close, but i’ve never been farther
from the one who died to bring me closure, i don’t know my own father
you’re calling for me to get up and be free, i don’t dignify you with an answer
as i turn away and i false repent, this ain’t what your plans were

[chorus:]
i’ve been in a dance with depression and i can’t handle it
walking on a road, on the path where my feet aren’t candlelit
yeah, i’m a lost soul, i’m a lost soul strumming my mandolin
i’m your guilty servant
[verse 2:]
please don’t insert me into the limelight, i should not be defined by any words that i might let loose
because i’ll spin it to boost my reputation, i’ll test your patience
undomesticated, i try to suppress temptation
but obsessive hatred has progressed condemnation
satan’s impressing my mental state, should i rest my case and accept the placement
of my destination? my chest is vacant so you best erase it
i’ll infect your patients with no less contagious depressive agents
haven’t been blessed in ages, my thoughts have been kept in cages
i must protect my station, it’s hard to believe in what’s unseen but i need to release
what i’ve breathed in, my demons are screaming, i’m leaving the scene
with a decent reason to even think of seeking a deity to believe in
i’m far beneath your feet, god, but i need to know if my existence is useful
if i took your route to the very end would the life i’ll live be fruitful?
all the blasphemy that i spoke before, i pray that it’s forgivable
’cause people tell me you’re the one who could turn me invincible

[outro:]
yeah, but i’m coming back home, i’m running back to you, lord
i’m so guilty of running from you
will you even take me as i am after everything i’ve done?
it’s a question that’s been preying on my mind, yeah
oh lord

- cvons lyrics

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