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the defamation shuffle - cpsc 183 students lyrics

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(chorus: everyone)
brad rosen has asked us to
disclose our defamatory acts to you
what we said was bad, but now we’re good
we’ll refrain from stating falsehoods
now we’re trying our best to be
good people in our online community
we’re not here to start trouble
we’re legally required to do the “defamation shuffle”

(verse 1: jimothy cricket)
i’m jimothy cricket and i’ll abstain
from calling mr. trump a —- again
what i said, was not too kind
but i’m a nice guy, you’ll come to find
i called some public figures savages
and my statements were proved to cause damages
however, it is my obligation
to tell you i’m here for defamation

(verse 2: james hurdle)
james hurdle is my name
my slander case is what brought me fame
in the future, i’ll reconsider
before i defame a public figure
i thought the drama, would diffuse
but actual malice is what he proved
i shouldn’t’ve announced my vilification
because now i’m here for defamation

(verse 3: noah dilson)
i’m noah dillson, dropping rhymes
i’ve been charged with libel 7 times
i posted that all my past girlfriends had syphilis
but three of those times they were just being frivolous
i feel real bad that i got caught
i might post it again, probably not
i regret my actions, i swear on the bible
but for now i am still guilty of libel

(verse 4: ron lump)
i’m ron lump, i’m second to none
here to apologize for what i’ve done
if you’re wondering about the case
i posted my girlfriend’s nudes to mysp-ce
now her coworkers think she’s evil
at the time my actions seemed sh-tty but legal
my being here is only contingent
on the fact my revenge p-rn was copyright infringement

(sax solo)

(verse 5: posemary rort)
hey everybody, i’m posemary rort
proving girls can also resort
to things like calling models wh-r-s
to break a gl-ss ceiling? it’s opened doors!
you won’t find me still piling on hate
but like hamilton, “just you wait!”
i’m not here to act as a framer
i’m here because i’m a defamer

(verse 6: jeffery white)
first name jeffrey, last name white
i’ll be checking out your site
last time i wrote i got banned
if you want me to remove comments, i sure can
the last thing i want is to ruin reputations
like i’ve done in the past through defamation

(verse 7: john doe)
i’m the one they call john doe
i was told i’m allowed to lay low
my anonymity should stay intact
i think what i said was free speech in fact
some sl-t shaming had occurred
if i’m found liable i’ll be unblurred
i am here to tell my story
of how i said something possibly defamatory

(verse 8: prouff)
you’ve got to listen to me, okay. i’m not like these guys this is a plot by the lizard people to keep me silent! honey boo boo is actually an alien, so my statement can’t be slander!

i’m not here to start a scuffle
i’m just here to do the defamation shuffle

(chorus: everyone)
brad rosen has asked us to
disclose our defamatory acts to you
what we said was bad, but now we’re good
we’ll refrain from stating any falsehoods
now we’re trying our best to be
good people in our online community
we’re not here to start trouble
we’re legally required to do the “defamation shuffle”

- cpsc 183 students lyrics

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