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keeping tabs (live stairwell take) - cowbaby lyrics

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i don’t concern myself with other people
or at least that’s what i want you to think
it’s true, i tried to be you
‘cause i’ve given up and failed at being me

there’s me
speaking someone else’s mind at some party
laughing nervously
wishing was all in my head
‘cause it’s utterly absurd those things i’ve said
and yet

if i were who
that is if i
if i were you
i’d think it strange
well maybe that’s just something i can’t
i can’t change

i write myself some postcards
in my bed
signed with names from books i’ve never ever read
they said
“i’m in -ssembly”
and i’m dying to get out of here and be me

clean
any tracks or traces of my trail
‘cause i don’t want anybody on my tail
imperatively sneaky
‘cause i’m always just one step one step behind me
oh why

if i could be
anybody, body but me
i’d be them all
and that is what appears to be my downfall

trying, failing every single day
gotten used to life that way
keeping tabs on everyone i see
they aren’t keeping tabs on me
(x4)

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