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1llus10n 0f r3pr1s3 (unfinished) - cosmix_toast lyrics

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verse 1
i f*cked up a lot and now i gotta run away
yea* this time it was bad and ruined my entire day
but time is fake and stupid and its made up in our heads
so did i really f*ck up or can i sleep peacefully in bed

it was a giant blunder
and now i am gonna plunder
into the depths of my mind
where i will sit and wait and wonder (cut into the “der” for filler)

will i end up okay?
am i going to end up dead?
or is this all just bullsh*t that i made up in my head

(reapeat i dont know and echo it on 3/4)
i dont know* i dont know* i dont know*
i dont know* i dont know* i* i* i dont know*
i dont know* i dont know*
i dont know* i dont know* i* i*

nah ill probably be fine…
yea i think ill be alright
i can recover from what i have done
i can copе with the flow of time
and how i can not stop it
and how it drags me through
how it drags mе through h*ll and back
f*ck* man ive had enough of that

it could have been much better
everything could be much better
if only i had been more careful
and attempted to snap the teather

i could be in a better place
i could be someone else
but i bite the hand that feeds me
and it chains me down to h*ll

main thing

somebody let me out of here somebody rewind time
if you cant send me back then i want you to end my life
since single digit age ive f*cked my chance of living hapily
but only now do i realize that i cant weasle through this time

somebody please just save my soul somebody give me hope
the larger equivalent of cleansing my mouth with soap
twist horrors into beauty and turn peices into shards
the shatters of my life over the years falling apart
im f*cked

(instrumental)

verse 2
i can fix this right?
i can unf*ck up this time
this is all exaggeration thats just made up in my mind

am i just lying to myself to cope?
well maybe but i need some hope
to nibble on gently in bed
while im stuck in the depths of my head

wondering so many thoughts
all of these questions hard to stop
come rushing back at the worst times
when im just trying not to cry

if i could just turn off my brain
and not have thoughts for a full day
yes i may die but whats the price
to live a simple happy life

even if its a short one
i just wanna have fun
throw a tiny mirror in the air
and shatter with a gun
just one singular bullet
just one is all that it takes
to rip through flesh and bone
immediately stop your day

its my salvation its my savior
i think its just what i need
it seems so perfect so beautiful
end the videos feed

there are cameras deep inside of me
i wanna tear them out
but my mind is flooded fear and pain
with a sh*t load of doubt

second variation of main thing

somebody let me out of here unchain me from this h*ll
release me from this living realm and help me break my sh*ll
this is physically draining it is torturous to me
i only wish to not exist i just want to be free

somebody save my soul just please somebody give me hope
the larger equivalent of cleansing my mouth with soap
twist horrors into beauty and turn peices into shards
the shatters of my life over the years falling apart

why did i do this to myself (stretch myself out a bit and maybe cut)
aughhh man

at end of song during outro

i made this like two weeks ago feeling like sh*t after months of despair, im fine now. thanks for listening

note, this is an exact copy of the lyrics from my notes so it does include sh*t like reminders for certain parts of the song

- cosmix_toast lyrics

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