who am i kidding? - copacabana - original london cast lyrics
sam:
havana! havana! havana freakin’ cuba!
the kid is heading for a crash
he’ll run into castelli there
they’ll shoot him in the belly there
they’ll cut him up and stuff him in the trash!
holy cow havana!
havana i’m going to havana!
what else am i supposed to do?
i need a gun i need a pill
i need a map i need a will
i’ll save his neck and lola’s too!
who am i kidding?
i’m no hero i’m just a average
s.*.b. this is the kind of job for someone muscle
bound and kind of witless and besides
it scares me sh*tless! who am i kidding?
i’m no hero
doorman:
he’s no hero
sam:
i ain’t no tarzan in a tree
doorman:
we’ll drink to that
sam:
this ain’t the kind of job for some old fart like me
gladys:
castelli! castelli!
you gotta stop castelli!
the kid don’t know him like we do before
he finished wit’cha well you’ll never know
what hit’cha and it ain’t a pretty pit’cha i tell you!
sam:
alright,alright, i’m going!
i’m going that settles it, i’m going!
i’ll teach you not to mess with me!
i’ll give him this!
gladys:
you’ll give him that!
sam:
i’ll beat him up
gladys:
you’ll knock him flat
both:
just like a kid of twenty*three
sam:
who am i kidding? i’m no youngster
gladys:
you’re only mature like an old cheese
sam:
it takes me hours just to pee
gladys:
you peed enough already
sam:
this ain’t the kind of job. for some old p**p like me
gladys:
this is exactly the job for someone oh…sam
all (but sam):
looks like we got ourselves a hero
sam:
i’m no hero
all:
sammy, we know that. you’ll come through
sam:
i’m through already
gladys:
you’re just startin’, sammy
all:
this is exactly the job for someone smart like you
sam:
but i got ulcers
all:
and with heart like you
sam:
and i got hemorrhoids
all:
a sweet old fart like you
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