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haunt - conveyer lyrics

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the span of the last ten years has only made this harder to cope with
still trying to forgive your abandonment brought to light in pestilential sunsets
reminding me that i’ll wake up to another morning of disorder
and i never got to say goodbye

my heart is tired from recollecting every moment spent together
and i would burn them from my brain if i could
so cauterize every synapse i have in exchange
for forgetting you were buried on my birthday

i am still bereaved
is the cancer coming after me?
am i who i should be?
is the sickness welling up in me?
i am incomplete
you are the missing piece

the thought of you in a hospital bed has awoken the fear of my youth and the absence you left
even if the pain goes overlooked
i’ll fight my way through with every pulse in my wrist

even if i believed you could hear me
i’d still want you to know that i am who i am
for myself and no one else
for myself and no one, i am who i am

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