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how to succeed in mountport - collegehumor lyrics

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how to succeed in mountport lyrics
[alexa, spoken]
but listen
if you have any advice on
how to succeed in mountport

[paperboy, spoken]
oh sure i got a lot of advice on
how to succeed in mountport
there’s a couple of things you gotta know
if you want to be some sort of a big deal around here

[alexa, spoken]
sure

[paperboy]
step one
whenever you say hi to someone next door
make sure you’ve never ever seen him before because we don’t say hi to people that we know
to the people we’ve alrеady met, we say hi ho

[alexa]
oh, so hi to someonе whose brand new
hi ho if i already know you

[paperboy]
you’ve got it that’s rule number one!
rule number two the tuna fish here is beyond belief
we catch those tuna from the place right there it’s a private little riff
they taste real good but don’t eat too much
it’ll make you throw right up
when it comes to tuna a touch is enough

[alexa]
so hi if you are brand new
hi ho if i already know you
and when it comes to tuna

[paperboy]
just a touch is enough

rule number three
don’t climb up that big old tall tree
a woman lives in there and she is not okay

[alexa]
oh but this tree looks so inviting

[paperboy]
i know you gonna wanna climb it
but don’t you do it, don’t you try it
again the woman is not okay
[alexa, spoken]
okay

[alexa]
hi but then hi ho*

[paperboy]
and not like not okay, like there’s something wrong with her
she’s totally fine she’s just mean

[alexa, spoken]
got it

[paperboy]
maybe evil

[alexa]
maybe evil?

[paperboy]
don’t talk to the woman

[alexa & paperboy]
in the tree

[alexa, spoken]
good advice for me

- collegehumor lyrics

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