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awkward rap - collegehumor lyrics

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awkward rap lyrics
[sam]
a*1, 2, 3, 4**

[dan]
w*wait, when do i come in?

[sam]
you come in after “4.”

[dan]
so on “5”?

[sam]
yes, but i’m not gonna say “5.”
i’m not gonna say “5…”
[dan]
ok

[sam]
you have to come in at “4.”
alright, 1, 2, 3, 4, now!

[dan]
if you say, “how are you?”
i’ll say “not much.”
my hand and your b00b
accidentally touch

i snort when i laugh
and i fart when i sneeze
stand right behind this guy
when he pees

if i see you wavin’
my hand goes in the air
even though you’re wavin’
to that guy over there

i talk s**t about you
like a slimebox
’til i realize that i wrote it
in your i.m. box
when a waiter says
“enjoy your food”
every single time i will say
“oh, you too”

i mean it, yo
have a seat next to me
pour yourself a cup
of my dig*

[sam]
*ni*

[amir]
*ty*y!

[dan]
how is your boyfriend?
you two really cl!ck
oh, you broke up?
that guy was a d*ck

‘scuse me, i cannot
reach the top rack
oh, you don’t work here
you’re just black?
[chorus]
awkward!
when will this moment pass?
awkward!
i feel like such an ass!
awkward!
it makes my skin crawl!
awkward!
yo, yo, it makes me feel so small!

[sam]
when i see you
i give you a quizzical look
do i know you from life
or from facebook?

you’re far away
and cause we can’t talk yet
we’ll act like our eyeb*lls
never met

when we talk
i gotta hide my shame
you think we’re b.f.f’s
but i don’t know your name

so here we are no*

[amir]
*man’s*

[dan]
*land!

[sam}
do i give you a hug
or just shake your hand?

i go for the embrace
so warm and pleasin’
you try to pull away
but i keep on squeezin’

you try to pass by
but we bump and sway
heh, thanks for the dance
i’ll be on my way

we said our goodbyes
and i shed a tear
miss you already
wha**, you’re still here!

i want to avoid
further social connection
so i walk twenty minutes
in the wrong direction

[chorus]
awkward!
when will this moment pass?
awkward!
i feel like such an ass!
awkward!
you think it can’t get worse?
awkward!
yo, yo! but we’ve got one more verse

[amir]
on the elevator ride
you want to impose
i say i’m pressin’ “open”
but i press “door close”

if you make it in
i will devise
a way to look everywhere
but in your eyes

then i follow you
right out the door
take a look around
this ain’t my floor

ring goes ya’ phone
so put it to your cheek
i didn’t mean to call you
but now we gotta speak

one last thing
when my voice gets loud
and there’s suddenly silence
in the crowd

i don’t care
won’t change what i say
all these people
are d*cks anyway*y!

[woman]
what?

[amir]
what?… were you? this guy was all like**

[dan]
just don’t…

[amir]
no, i do not think you guys are d*cks anyway… no way. he w** i don’t know** was super…
look** have you guys looked at the walls? what are color are they, like, they… awkward*marine? he he. ahhhl. when’s daylight savings? that’s spring forward…?

[sam]
fall back

[amir]
it’s june. fall back… it’s…

- collegehumor lyrics

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