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showing what i live - collectivepov lyrics

(verse 1)
i’m sick of holding back, never showing who i am
im closed off – barely open up to friends
how the h-ll am i supposed to show them what i live
if i’m blasted by the winds and i’m alone in the drift?
in the side of me – that the music’s in
there’s a pessimism, and it ruins this
moment that i’m searching for in heaven, or the burbon for
it resonates inside of me and is crashing at my burdened core
so let’s open up the flood gates
i’m wanting only love, cause i’ve dealt with enough hate
negativity is mentally a rough state
and most of y’all are living it and blame it on a tough day
to be honest, you sell yourselves short
i’ve met the best people, and they say this in retort:
“i’m really nothing special”
but they are
y’all deserve your names to be written in the stars

(chorus)
i wanna show what i live
i’m trapped on the brink, and i hope i don’t slip
i want you to know who i am
since i barely open up to my circle of friends
i wanna show what i live
i’m trapped on the brink, and i hope i don’t slip
i want you to know who i am
since i barely open up to my circle of friends

(verse 2)
i’m afraid, and i’m panicking
only feel proud if i’m rapping or traveling
walking in the sky like my first name is anakin
dancing on cloud 9, troubles are vanishing
worried for the future, everyone is
now i’m blinded in the present, son of a b-tch
i refuse to be remembered as another in the list
so now i will not hesitate to show you what i live
right now, what’s happening in my life
i’m dreading growing up, so i’m focusing on hindsight
trying to re-establish “collective” as a name
i feel i’ve deserted what i’ve helped create
it’s got me pinned by this guilt, i will
break away from the shackles, i’m the king of my hill
nothing’s gonna bring me down, i won’t stop
’till i’ve redeemed myself, and i’m back on top

(verse 3)
since learning “the game”, it’s been an honest change
in how i stand, and deliver what i say
people used to brush me off, turn around, and walk away
now i’m leading conversations while i walk inside the place
“become the man that you honestly wanna be”
as of late, that is my only policy
i used to be guided by a mix-matched philosophy
and my vocabulary? was half–ssed apologies
then i transformed, into someone much more
than i had initially given myself credit for
a newer version of myself, that’s right
now i’m looking for the approval of “half life”
life is crazy, and it goes fast
to the point where it’s impossible to understand
a gameplan to obtain everything i seek
when all i have to rely on? is me

not to say they don’t know who i am, but…
sh-t i needed to let that out

- collectivepov lyrics

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