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pedestal - coffin varnish lyrics

[verse 1]
pull the curtains, my eyes are wide
wouldn’t you like to have a look inside?
my soul’s wide open, got my tongue twisted choking on my words
do you know the truth in what you heard about me?
uh oh, the rumors are true
i broke my own heart, i’ll take it out on you
i got sky high problems, now it’s your job to solve them
aren’t i a pretty prize?

would you carry my baggage through the door?
the elevator’s broken and i only book the highest floor
sure, baby, it’s a long way to fall
and i’m scared of heights, but it’s better than feeling small

i saw my reflection in a picturesque lake
and i knelt down to cry because i knew it was fake
i looked oh*so*beautiful, a moment in time
but i know it didn’t capture all the horrors inside
i touched my fingers to the water
holding hands with the image as it faltered
but the moment i noticed it stray from perfection
i felt disgust slip into my expression

[chorus]
oh baby, will you love me when i fall from grace
when i’m down on the concrete with blood on my face?
i built an altar, i prayed to myself, but i was too selfish to answer or help
i put someone on a pedestal, and it wasn’t me, but i wanted so badly for it to be
i made an idol of a fantasy, a figment of my vanity
and fell in love with that vision of me
[verse 2]
i ripped my heart out, it beat too loud
gave me away when i was feeling down
don’t i look nice when i’m statuesque, and i stand dead still?
that’s when i look the best
i wish i wasn’t born into imperfection
i was never meant for such close inspection
why don’t you look at me from distance?
stand still, look pretty, that’s my ideal existence

let’s go up to the highest peak
i’ll play god, see if he turns the other cheek
maybe if i’m lucky he’ll knock me down
sure, it’s a long way to fall, but what a beautiful tragedy the second i hit the ground!

i shattered my reflection in a pocket mirror
i wish i could be how i want to appear
i envy my reflection in the eyes of strangers
i know exactly how to be the perfect entertainer
i’m jaded, i’m jealous of everyone
it seems they all know how to get what they want
i’m lost in a house of mirrors
and seeing myself fully is the worst of my fears

[chorus]
oh baby, will you love me when i fall from grace?
when i’m down on the concrete with blood on my face?
i made an altar, i prayed to myself, but i was too selfish to answer or help
i put someone on a pedestal, and it wasn’t me, but i wanted so badly for it to be
i made an idol of a fantasy, a figment of my vanity
and fell in love with that vision of me
oh baby, will you love me when i fall from—
when i’m down on the concrete with blood on my—
built an altar, i prayed to myself, but i was too selfish to answer or help
put someone on a pedestal, and it wasn’t me, but i wanted so badly for it to be
i made an idol of a fantasy, a figment of my vanity
and fell in love with that vision of me

oh baby, will you love me when i fall from grace?

- coffin varnish lyrics

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