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dog fence - cky lyrics

yeah um you guys install the fences right uh the electrical ones that will shock the dogs?

yes

now my wife owns a babysitting and she has the kids in the backyard and we wanted to get a fence installed and have some collars put on the kids so they don’t go in the street um i want to know who can do this and who can do this now and effective immediately march 31. h*llo!

yeah we cannot do that

well you can put the fence in, you don’t have to. i mean this is between you and me, me and you, hopscotch and wе’ll go you know 50/50 on the deal right?

no i’m sorry

wait wait but i just want to say you know you guys won’t know about the kids. wе had it, we tested it out, one kids whatever, the r*t*rded thing. we strapped one on him, he runs around, his tongue in his mouth, like a dog, kind of sort of, and he you know he goes through the fence. bzzz ow he’s blasted with a shock and he runs back in screaming and we let him loose again he i mean there’s tolerance build up

well we can’t do that, legally, we can’t really

you’re stuttering, are you, you know?

i know because i can’t believe

don’t be nervous

that the children

yeah but but it’s not gonna
i cannot do that

if it’s good for the dogs, it’s good for the kids right? dog’s best friend, man, dogs are a boy’s best friend

that’s correct

no, it’s man’s best friend. that’s not correct

but see if you…

like the whole procedure

but you see if you…

and what i want to do is have it going all zig zags under the ground so it confuses them so they’re gonna be shocked and it’ll keep them in line

right well see the only thing is if you were going to do that for children, you could be taken to court

but but but you’re forgetting the main objective: no one’s gonna know

well they will know because eventually if the children get shocked long enough there will probably be marks

you mean i shock these mother f*ckers and there’s gonna be burns on their neck? it don’t burn the dogs. you don’t make sense. you’re tying two granny knots in a loop and it ain’t happening

well sir i can’t
ma’am please. i am a ma’am. i sound very masculine

okay man

ma’am. ma’am. i am a lady. i am female

okay ma’am haha okay listen

do you find it funny to call me ma’am?

yes i do. personally i do because you said you have a wife?

but i am a dyk*

okay well i’m sorry. i mean

there’s no need to apologize. we live in some crazy times. there’s a f*g right down the street from us but we have no problem

okay well here’s the thing

roast beef

okay if you. how many collars do you need?

well we only have one phone line so you know one caller at a time and call waiting so maximum two callers can call. a total of two. but it, but that’s fine right?
no. what i’m talking about are dog collars. if you want a dog fence

huh what?

you want a dog fence right?

yes! yes!

for the fence, you need collars

yes and

how many collars do you want?

30, whatever, you know, maybe the kid will eat one

if you want 30?

yes, dirty. **barks** shut up dogs! **barks** **pants** we want 30 collars, how much is this going to cost?

each collar is like $200

ah! **woof woof**

so if you’re going to get 30 of them

yeah

that’s $6000

yeah the money is not a problem. my uncle fred, he went down to the f*g’s house, took all sorts of their g*y money. they they live on their own currency you know? g*y dollars. on their bills they have presidents like greg louganis is on the five dollar bill. stuff like that. so we use. do you accept g*y money?

no we don’t

are you on the verge of p*ss*pantsing yourself?

on what?

on what? on the fence? on something? **barks** you hear the dogs? they’re here. lots of them. **kicks** come on bark. bark you. **barks** you hear them?

yes i do

right now i’m petting the dog

okay well listen

and if you don’t put the fence in, i’m gonna stab him. **dog whines** don’t stab me

while i’m laughing

shut up

and find you very amusing

shut up. you’re going to have to put the fence in now. and that’s it and that’s all there is to it. i’ve wasted enough time with this and that and this and that and you’re going to come here and dig and dig and put the fence in because these kids are risking their lives every single day of the week, they’re running in the streets. ups. up and down

i hope you have a really good day because you have definitely made me have a good day

i made you have a good day?

yes you did. can i ask you something? how many are people are there listening to this conversation on the speaker phone?

dogs or people?

well dogs and people i want to know

30 dogs in a suitcase

well how many?

if you could just hear, well how do you want me to answer that? i just told you thirty dogs

oh okay. well i have to go so you have a good day okay?

yeah i found out yesterday that i don’t have a left arm

really?

yeah

that’s too bad but i do have to go so you have a really good day okay?

def leppard

bye!

- cky lyrics

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