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heaven - civilian lyrics

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i think that i would be fine if you left me
fine if we end up divorcing
perfectly happy alone
you think that i’m still the man that you married
but something has changed on the inside
and i’m not who i want to be

because there’s no gauge for the love we make
nothing’s sacred when nothing’s safe
i fear i’ve seen the final tide
of our prime wash into separate seas

i thought that you’d be impressed if you met me
if only you’d gotten to know me
if you knew what i knew
and those days, i would have quickly dismissed you
as you would have p-ssed and not seen me
but somehow it happened that
heaven opened up her eyes
and her attention arrested mine
a test i could not pay to p-ss
as heaven stopped me in my tracks

graveyards are filled with disposable men
laying beside all the others that warned them
that steps should be taken and carefully measured with caution
but laying alone you see that nothing is gained
men are only hesitant when marching to wars and to graves
to my shame, my cues have been taken
from old men who claim their journey wasn’t worth it at all

nothing happens the way that it’s supposed to
love doesn’t care if you want to, it’s going to move you
so lean in because i want to breathe what you’re breathing
i want to see my reflection, lovely and haunting
then i opened up my mouth
and lazarus came marching out
upon the tongue of a once dead man
that now is d-mned to love again

- civilian lyrics

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