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guilty roses - chxnge lyrics

[intro]
bones never really phased me before
now they affect me no more
they surrounded me like some walls
so i can’t really feel appalled

[chorus]
roses
i don’t know if i could throw them
caz i never was the closest
but it really hurt when you left
now i keep you alive like roses
i don’t know if i could hold them
caz i never was the closest
but it f-cking hurt when you left
got no one with whom to i could vent

[verse 1]
and i still remember that ride home back on that train
looking out the window, the snowfall felt more rain
back around the time that i still felt some of that pain
and i still do, not the same way though
caz i saw loss a lot last f-cking year no joke
with my mind telling me i shouldn’t shed a tear or choke
it was my friend’s wake and i almost got convinced not to go
but i told myself that it’s okay now i know
so rest in peace to that soul, that beautiful soul
time furthered you but i still saw you on my posts
and r.i.p. those who this year ain’t show
them exes, friends, and a whole lotta woes
now here i am laying…

[verse 2]
if my ex died right now could i say i loved her?
could i go to her funeral and say it straight to her mother?
could i give a hug to her sister, dad, and her brothers?
could i let some tears out without feeling like i should cover?
could i feel some pain without feeling so f-cking guilty?
without feeling like they think that i just want some pity?
but what else could i feel with the way that i grew?
ma and pa always covered saying that life’s good
why the f-ck are there standards to all our moods?
why can’t i fit in that pair of suede shoes?
wouldn’t you want your old friends to feel some way that you’re gone?
caz i do, caz i know that that that just be love
so here i am laying…

- chxnge lyrics

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