merry x.x.x.l.m.a.s. (pam i am) - chunky pam (ashlie atkinson) lyrics
[intro]
uh, the infamous p.a.m
slangin’ candy canes out the suburbs
lock up your sons and your cupboards
chubby wonder
plugging up your chimney
you scrooge; you lose
check it
merry x-x-x-l-m-a-s
the hottest hostess
with the mostest hostess cupcakes, yes
they call me chunky pam
chunky pam i am
they call me chunky pam
chunky pam i am
i’m giganta
bigger than santa
sing the anthem
from alaska to atlanta
how they love the love handles of
chunky pam
chunky pam i am
they call me chunky pam
chunky pam i am
i’ve been dreaming of a white christmas
a tight christmas
pam-a-licious
chicken bling glistening
the ice princess
i’ve got dreams of delicious dishes
with all the finest fixings
saint nicholas’ mistress
spitting my wishlist
gimme
chicken br–sts, baby back ribs, roast beef and brisket
buffalo wings, ring dings, twizzlers and biscuits
jumbo shrimp and turkey
parents’ crib in jersey
beneath the mistletoe
i prefer my kisses hershey
serve me that kit kat
before i gift wrap a b-tch slap
i don’t count carbs
i’m counting greenbacks
his face lit up like rudolph
when i took my sweat suit off
i sat on santa’s lap
call me nutcracker sweet booty
the figgy pudding grinch is stacked
and she ain’t taking sh-t
you twiggy b-tches piggyback
shake off like bacon bits
pimpin’ since tiny tim
wore tiny timberlands
my dinner spins on platinum plates
they’re made of shiny rims
feast your eyes
i’m bringing s-xyback with christmas cheer
you anorexics
all can eat me at this time of year
pop more cris than kringle
pop more chips than pringles
’tis the season
when i trim the tree with hit singles
pam
deck the halls
like a mad john oates
maneater
drinking eggnog
in my white mink coat
they call me chunky pam
chunky pam i am
they call me chunky pam
chunky pam i am
rock the bells off your toboggan
knock the stuffing out your stocking
while you’re drooling by the yule log
everybody nod your noggin to
chunky pam
chunky pam i am
they call me chunky pam
chunky pam i am
happy holidays, y’all
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