michael lofton rap battle with jay dyer?! [parody] - christian mario lyrics
[intro]:
you’re watching reason & theology live
and i’m you’re host, michael lofton with the bars
i got my rosary and my prayer robe
because i’m an orthodox in communion with rome
baby!
[verse 1 lofton]
thelm h0m*phobic rad trads be talkin smack
behind the holy fathers back
i got no issue with no g*y blessings
as long as the priest ain’t wearing no dang vestments
and as long as the blessings don’t go no more than 10 seconds
cause you’re in descent if that clock hits 11
i used to be critical of 50 shades of grey
till i found out fernandez wrote it the other day
now that i know that tucho touched it i gotta say i’m amazed
this theological truths that need to be praised
orthobros be claiming we divorced from history
nah baby we just got an annulment
and don’t you steal my freakin spotlight this is my moment
reason & theolgy i’m way to focused
ten hour live streams you think i’m joking?
it’s michael seraphim lofton flowing on the beat baby
nuance running from my head to toe
nuance and it’s making me glow
so much nuance in my veins i’m gunna overdose
so much clarity and charity i’m gunna explode
and anthony and rob are some h0m*phobes
and tim gordon tries to call me i’m hanging up the phone
and jay dyer too it’s his———
[jay dyer intro]:
you’re tuning into ugh jay’s *n*lysis and i’m gunna be talking to michael lofton *sniffle *sniffle actually about the transcendental argument for god *sniffle *sniffle *cough *cough *sniffle alright, michael doesn’t understand the transcendental argument at all. okay
[jay dyer verse 1]:
michael michael lost in the metaphysical
transcendental argument got em in a critical
state of mind trying to find the divine
but the concepts are elusive like trying to catch time
classical foundationalism, natural theology
those things are giving michael lofton a mental lobotomy
ugh
[michael lofton]:
jay jay why you gotta interrupt my flow?
i’m trying to shine but you’re stealing the show!
i’m dropping*
[jay dyer verse 2 ]:
in a proper liturgy the candles softly glow
icons tells the story of a faith that we know
the mystery of the sacraments profound and deep
but you’ve go to papal clown mass, a laughter filled heap!
[michael lofton verse 2]:
jay jay, it’s not a sacrilege it’s just a joyful embrace
a celebration of faith in a different sp*ce
the pope, the clowns united in glee
a whimsical mass for all to see
but you’re to blinded, by your lack of charity
you don’t understand the truth found in the circus
[jay dyer]:
there’s no way that you’re saying this on purpose
jay dyer going hard on the verses!
jays *n*lysis
[michael lofton verse 3]:
jay jay you’re so uncharitable
talking the talk but it’s just so pitiful
a heart of stone where love should be
in the charity game he’s an absentee
to the straight and narrow he’s lost his direction
in a maze of wrongs he needs the sacrament of confession
[jay after]:
michael lofton you need to lay off the cheeseburgers
if you sit on somebody it’s attempted murder
ugh
[michael lofton]:
that was so bigoted ima pretend i ain’t heard it
[jay dyer]:
but you did hear it and i don’t care if ya heard it
[michael lofton]:
jay he’s been dodging the truth running from the light
the sacrament of confession it’s the path that’s right
jay jay time for confession
cleanse your soul make a new confession
[jay dyer]:
i don’t understand your weird obsession with talking to other people like you’re their confessor, i don’t get it*
[michael lofton]:
cause i am the internet’s confessor
i am the infallible interpreter of the infallible interpreter michael lofton reason & theology
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