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playing dead - christian lee hutson lyrics

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sitting in some hotel bar in oregon
i know i shouldn’t risk my health but if i could forget myself then maybe i could fix how i’ve been sleeping

i listen to the way i speak to strangers
it probably isn’t worth remarking but i swear that once i was charming and now my conversations all get heated

i just made myself laugh to think i once assumed that i knew better than my mother
let me shed awful costume [?]
every word i said that made the ones i love upset
i’ve spent too long playing dead
i’m old enough to know that i know nothing
though i cеlebrate merе speculations innocently i believe them, i’m still young enough to trust my feelings

i tell myself to recognize my failings
the useless lies i hide behind, h*ll, i’m too shy to meet your eye
i tell myself that maybe i should stay clean

i just made myself laugh to think i once assumed that i knew better than my mother
let me shed awful costume [?]
every word i said that made the ones i love upset
i’ve spent too long playing dead

didn’t k!ll me but i don’t feel stronger
[?] from toxic thoughts, my minds a train that can’t be stopped
i’m not sure that i can handle it much longer

i just made myself laugh to think i once assumed that i knew better than my mother
let me shed awful costume [?]
every word i said that made the ones i love upset
i’ve spent too long playing dead

- christian lee hutson lyrics

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