when willy met oompa (demo) - christian borle lyrics
if you call yourself a geographer
you know that the world’s more than round
for even an ancient cartographer
knows you have to get lost to be found
you must give yourself lots of latitude
when you take this globe a spin
where magellan’s map ends, that where i make my friends
and that’s where this story begins
(ha ha)
i was searching the dark green jungle
for a tree called the theobroma
like a sweet margaret mead
i let my nose lead
to its heavеnly chocolate aroma
but the jungle was fillеd with snozzw*ngers!
h*rnswogglers and wicked w*ngdoodles!
who would make you their lunch
as your bones they would crunch
while they boiled your limbs for noodles
but no wretched beast
would make me their feast
for my sword is as swift as lightning!
one by one they all fell
though the ooze and the smell
they emitted was twice as frightening
then from high in the trees
i heard foreign “whoopee!”s
then the source of the sound
were all there on the ground
barely up to my knee
they all screamed
“we’re all free!”
and the sound of their bliss
it went something like this
“ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa*loo”
“ca*ca*cao*cao”
“ai ai ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa want it”
“now now now”
“ai ai ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa wanna”
“chew chew chew!”
gesundheit
“thank you!”
“a*loompa*loompa*loo!”
did i mention?
they’re marvelous dancers!
well they all dressed me up like a hero (hooray!)
they were breathless
and simply elated
explanations were sung
in their strange loompish tongue
but for you now we’ll gladly translate it
“the beast h**rded all of our chocolate
those disgusting vermicious k!llers
yes, those monsters all thrived
as we barely survived
on a diet of mashed caterpillars”
“through the months and the years
other dull chocolatiers
met their fate in the monsters’ saliva”
“poor signor ghirardelli”
“now lines monster belly”
“with herr lindt
and lady godiva”
“but your magic machete
turned beasts to spaghetti
each h*rnsnozz and w*ng
you took down with a bang!”
“and it’s safe now to chow
on the beans called cacao”
“and to celebrate it
here’s our number one hit!”
“ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa*loo”
“ca*ca*cao*cao”
“ai ai ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa want it”
“now now now”
“ai ai ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa wanna”
“chew chew chew!”
gesundheit
“thank you!”
“a*loompa*loompa*loo!”
they asked me:
how can we repay you
for bringing beans back to our lives?
i said: if you like this buffet, you
will simply flip if you see my factory!
and then an loompa they called hoffa
stepped forth and said
“make us an offa'”
i said:
i’ll pay you in beans
if you man my machines
he said:
“i ain’t no schnook
we want beans every break!”
i agreed and we shook
with a chocolate shake!
(we! aha! yip yip yip! ai yi yi yi! “oh yeah this feels right!”)
now they sing and they dance
but they hate wearing pants
they all live in a dorm
and they love to perform!
all the wives are exotic
“though that one’s neurotic”
the fun won’t diminish!
and now, here comes their big finish!
“ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa*loo”
“ca*ca*cao*cao”
“ai ai ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa want it”
“now now now”
“ai ai ai ai!”
“oompa*loompa wanna”
“chew chew chew!”
and now thanks to that tree
this me’s now a we
“and we’re all one big
oompa*loompa family!”
“gesundheit!”
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