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holiday cringe rap - chris ray gun lyrics

[verse 1]

it’s been a long time since i sat down with the stupid
and recapped in a track using copyrighted music
‘cuz choosin’ topics is hard when you’re losin’ your d-mn mind
‘cuz mankind’s carelessly dancin’ around the landmines
boom! red mist! i’m a cloud of blood particles
rainin down, stainin’ these clowns and their dumb articles
hear ’em say out loud, “wow! he’s so remarkable!”
i’d be proud if i was endowed with such an -rs-nal
of insults. indulge the cult of the impulse to shock motherf-ckers like the gloves of herman schultz
have people thank you after tearin’ em up
i make a buck, you call it luck, i call it giving no f-cks

hopefully, i don’t get accused of abusing people
i’m just a human perusing youtube amusing people
and i support the left-wing, i support equality but i also like the word “r-t-rd” cuz i think there’s comedy that’s there to be mined if we tried to do it properly but the conversation’s dead because i started it r-t-rdedly
f-ck, i said it twice. cancel me now because the things i’m sayin’ ain’t the most financially sound

burn the chris ray gun brand to a fat crisp like one whole third of a don mattrick hat trick
f-ck, i think i’m havin’ a panic attack. quick!
bring me some nude pics of danika. that’s it!
i treasure the pressure cuz it tethers me to the batsh-t
clever as ever, got a meetin’ here with a matchstick
and a cuban cigar, i’m using the far reaches of the brain the crude and bizarre
and if i ever find my mind, you better keep it afar
‘cuz if my sanity’s aladdin, f-ggot, call me jafar
about as iconic a combo as eustace and marge
i’m really only good at music on acoustic guitar

so, sorry if the rhymes fall flat like an actress layin’ her fat t-ts on my perfectly fine mattress
i seem nuts nut i’m not goin’ postal. trust this
just ‘cuz i poked fun at social justice
when motherf-ckers said “white people are bad” but don’t you get that that’s exactly the mindset that’s had by racists with tats on the back of their hands usin’ pastry shorthand to byp-ss the scans
lookin’ at the double standard like “it ain’t no thing” when it’s basically a motherf-ckin’ halo ring
and ain’t n0body really braced for what the payload brings but we’re too busy sayin’ “ugh! how could he say those things?!”

f-ck this! i’m out. serenity now!
i’m turning into a completely different ent-ty now
i’m shatterin’ people’s minds like the dreadfully loud
gunshot that took f-ckin’ kennedy out
go ahead, burn your effigy, let the negative energy steadily consume you and f-ck with your brain chemistry
you see me as a villain ‘cuz my pedigree precedes me
i kind of made a meme of mtv

[intermission]

okay
so if i’m to be the bad guy that people clearly want me to be i’ve gotta start sayin’ reprehensible sh-t
and i guess since we’ve come this far and we’ve dug this hole this far deep down
just keep digging right?
nothing ventured. [?]

[verse 2]

i wanna run baby yoda over with a toyota corolla put him in a coma as i sip on a soda
rinsing his stupid little body in a stream to help him get clean before i ship him off to jeffrey epstein to make a solid prophet, and maybe a quick buck from a frisky prince lookin’ into a quick f-ck
yonkers, to bronx, to poughkeepsie, b-tch
i spent my whole life trudgin’ in dimly lit corridors, a connoisseur of risky sh-t
watchin’ ditzy b-tches meetin’ with the whiskey d-cks for fifty-six bucks and some pixie sticks
i’ll just rise like quasimodo from a gypsy kiss if you cancel me come on, let this be quick
do to me what the right did to the dixie chicks

“oh sh-t!” did chris just take a swing at the right?”
i been swingin’ dipsh-t, you’re just too f-ckin’ blind
i guess in the winter all this heat is a blessin’
still, it seems like every second there’s somethin’ that needs addressin’

it takes a lot to hurt me, to diminish my essence not even clips of me undressin’ used against me as a weapon (‘cuz i’m kinda sorta hot) and you might find that depressin’
you might want me dead or shot or trebuchet’d to the heavens
and now, folks, i guess we can finish this fun lesson
this is how you get a vid to ten minutes and one second

- chris ray gun lyrics

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