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self-portrait - chris orrick lyrics

[verse 1]
still tryna paint you a portrait
it never looks right when i force it
somehow your features get distorted
ya head’s small and your eyes look enormous
you know the inside of you’s gorgeous
but on the outside it gets morbid
i got a room full of your paintings
and none of ’em are gonna make me famous
they’ll collect dust till they’re ancient
get tossed out after the late rent payments
maybe i’m not right for the era
every picture tells a story of a risk i was scared of
and you can feel the self-consciousness
where every pen stroke lacks confidence
maybe i’m having trouble tryna paint you because i hate you

[chorus]
still tryna paint you a portrait
it never looks right when i force it
somehow your features get distorted
ya head’s small and your eyes look enormous
you can’t see the tree from the forest
you can’t fight the war from the fortress
you can’t pay the bill from the fortune
you can’t paint the face from the portrait

[verse 2]
so, yeah, maybe i just hate you
maybe everything you’ve ever said i can’t relate to
hate the way you look, i hate the way you dress
i hate the way your living room and kitchen is a mess
i hate the way you stress, the way you overeat
i hate the way you can’t get out of bed and oversleep
i hate the way you worry, i hate the way you smile
with your big rabbit t–th you haven’t brushed in a while
i hate your curly hair, i hate the way you stare
i hate the way that you pretend you’re self-aware
i hate that you hate everyone, the way you condescend
i hate that you get flaky now when making plans with friends
i hate the way you spend every dollar that you’ve earned
i hate the way you know it, but you’ll probably never learn
i hate that it’s a fact, it’s probably over for this sh-t
‘les you get sober f-ckin’ quick

[verse 3]
i hate the way your brain makes you feel
it’s a shame you’re convinced that the pain isn’t real
i hate the way you mask it with the drug
hate your body, hate your mind, all it’s asking for is love
i hate the way that you portray yourself
i hate the way that you betray yourself
i hate the way that you can’t paint yourself
but, most of all, i hate the way you hate yourself

[outro]
i hate the way you hate yourself
i hate the way you hate yourself
i hate the way you hate yourself

- chris orrick lyrics

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