jort storm - charlie slimecicle lyrics
[intro, spoken]
this just in
we’re receiving reports that a new fad is taking the nation by storm
its name? jorts
but it appears as if this breakthrough in jean*short splicing technology is causing irregular weather patterns all across the globe
[verse 1]
it’s the warmest season so i can’t wear jeans
i really like the denim, but not the length of the seam
my mom dresses cas and my dad likes to preen
i’m not like either of them
i got the recessive gene
[chorus]
jort storm!
jort storm’s comin’ tonight
a jort storm!
it’s a category five
jort storm!
jort storm’s comin’ tonight
i said a jort storm’s comin’, better run and hide
[verse 2]
jorticane
jortnado
jortnami
jortquake
jortruption
jortalanche
jortpocalypse
[verse 3]
jort storm’s comin’ (jorts!)
so you better start runnin’
fast, it’s a chase
but be careful ’cause these jorts will chafe you down
they’re the new sensation (jorts!)
wear ’em to every occasion
jorts in the pool
oh, even better, wear ’em to a funeral, yeah (j*j*j*j*j*jorts!)
my personality is ninety*nine percent jorts
i got a genetic test, but all my genes are shorts!
[chorus]
jort storm!
jort storm’s comin’ tonight
a jort storm!
it’s a category five
jort storm!
jort storm’s comin’ tonight
i take off my f*cking jorts, i gotta get inside
[bridge]
breaking news
millions of americans are being sucked directly into the jortex
and it’s headed straight for this studio
to my wife, cheryl, and son, timmy
i love y* aaaaargghhh! (jorts!)
[outro]
the elders foretold (jorts!)
of a fashion so bold
a new god of the earth (jort*thulhu)
seal it in denim and turn it into jearth
[kazoo solo]
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