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person to worsen - central park cast lyrics

[intro 1, spoken: bitsy, helen]
what do you want?
i’m in the middle of grunting
you called me
oh, right. have you found my puppet?
take it easy back there
what am i, a bongo drum?
no winner yet
all these politicians are either too clean or too greasy
some of them were actually greasy
i think you need someone you can mold, like clay
just get me my puppet!
ow! stop pushing on my toe like that
you’re gonna pop it like a blueberry
[intro 2, sung: helen]
bitsy, she demands to pull the strings
so we need a candidate who brings
willingness to do her every wish
and a spine that’s like a jellyfish

[verse 1: helen]
oh, my, what a long line
this’ll be easy
gotta find a certain someone
who’s just subtly sleazy
not above gettin’ greasy
but still impeccably bred
we need a person to worsen
the dullest tool in the shed
well, speak of the shovel

[verse 2, spoken: helen, interviewees]
confess, are you willing to settle for less?
not be the best?
never, why whoever would say yes?
next!
tell me, why is it you’ve applied?
i wanna let my spirit shine
and make the world feel wonderful inside
bye. h*llo
are you willing to go with the flow?
oh, for sure
are you willing to bring to the table
a talent to waffle and never say no?
i could give it a go
in fact, i can do better than that
let me embezzle your money
and give you your enemy’s head on a plaque
[chorus 1]
eeny, meeny, miny, no
we need somebody to play ball
eeny, meeny, miny, no
want someone at her beck and call
no need to talk, not another word
kickin’ you to the curb

[verse 3: helen, interviewees]
no*go
chop*chop
time’s short
and so is your new boss
uh, let’s see
a graduate degree, huh? toss
so would you call yourself suggestible?
i don’t find that respectable
i’m honest, true, and ethical
well, that’s certainly correctable
sir, your mustache is detectable
and i’ve said you’re not electable
now, tell me, what attracts you to this position?
hmm, well, i can tell you that
i’m attracted to your feminine disposition
not to flatter, but as a matter of fact
your bun is top*class
so, what do you say?
i’m tempted, but no
hard pass
what a crop of idiots
these candidates are hideous
some are sugar*sweet
and some are simply too insidious
(i fight for the poor) next!
(i teach parkour.) bye
uh*uh. ciao
nope. nice try
(try)
[chorus 2]
eeny, meeny, miny, no
eeny, meeny, miny, no
no need to talk, not another word
kickin’ you to the curb
no*go
eeny, meeny, miny, no
we need somebody to play ball
eeny, meeny, miny, no
want someone at her beck and call
just doesn’t seem you qualify
have a nice day, girl, bye
no*go (no)

- central park cast lyrics

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