sound of suicide - casto1 lyrics
yeah, casto1, it’s that real sh*t, straight from the heart, straight raw, motherf*ckers don’t understand
[verse 1]
if i had just a bit of serotonin left
i wonder what my thoughts would be before the bullet hits my head
often find myself wonderin’ was it worth the stress
gettin’ worked up over little sh*t got me in a mess
by myself relyin’ on a sesh to get to bed
the sh*t i’ve seen and heard controlled my life i guess it got the best
??? to check myself and question was it worth the meds
grade four, i’m 18 now, and still ain’t’ nothings fresh
you don’t know about the life that i live
you ever woken up still drunk with cuffs to your wrists?
new bottle nearly empty stained with my blood on the lid
no recollection of anythin’, i’m ashamed of what i did
mumsie walkin’ in at 2am, i’m yakkin my guts
too many shots again i never know when i’ve had enough
it’s like the more i get drunk, i find me pouring it up
a little more than before, no wonder my stomach is rough
and to be honest, some days i still want to k!ll myself
some days i wake up feelin’ angry and i’ll kick myself
or when i wanna feel a pain i’ll go and pinch myself
or wake up sayin’ today’s the day i fix my health
but to be honest, it never really happens does it?
so now i’m back to drinkin’ til’ i wanna kick the bucket
cut out my family, all my friends but i’m thinkin’ f*ck it
this is how i really feel but i don’t discuss it
[chorus]
i’m f*cked up and there’s no escape
stuck in my own brain rough but i can’t explain
why i feel the way i do, i just put it on a page
and let the music do the talkin’, it’s the reason i get played
i’m f*cked up and there’s no escape
stuck in my own brain rough but i can’t explain
why i feel the way i do, i just put it on a page
and let the music do the talkin’, it’s the reason i get played
[verse 2]
my family i know you’re listenin’
don’t worry ’bout me i’m doin’ fine i’m livin’ in
a paradise filled with sunshine we sippin’ gin
’til the sun dies, while we sat high livin’ in sin
dealt with the bullsh*t, not once, not twice
too many times to f*ckin’ count but it was not nice
getting fried on most nights is when i heard jack died
stared at the roof for seven hours didn’t blink one eye
i’ve watched my life and it seems like a movie
but a scene’s put down my g, my dreams ain’t’ how they should be
question my god like, “please you should’ve took me, no affecting my friends” cause then n0body understood me
if i k!lled myself today who would lie
if i k!lled myself today tell me who the f*ck would cry
because every f*ckin’ night i’m in a fight with this head of mine
and when i close my eyes i can feel my chest gettin’ tight
recently, i’ve been so f*ckin’ angry at myself
mood changes, like f*ck it i might just hang myself
i hate everything about me so i may aswell
i pray to god for help cause right now this life’s a livin’ h*ll
but they don’t care unless i put it on a beat
listen up, ya f*ckin mutt, when rest in peace don’t even weep
i been strugglin’ for years but i’m still standing on my feet
i refuse to let my demons take me over for defeat
[chorus]
i’m f*cked up and there’s no escape
stuck in my own brain rough but i can’t explain
why i feel the way i do, i just put it on a page
and let the music do the talkin’, it’s the reason i get played
i’m f*cked up and there’s no escape
stuck in my own brain rough but i can’t explain
why i feel the way i do, i just put it on a page
and let the music do the talkin’, it’s the reason i get played, ayy
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