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hapgood's arrival - carnegie hall concert cast of anyone can whistle (1995) lyrics

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[narrator, lyrics]
comptroller schub is trying to sort out the confusion of cookies and pilgrims at the miracle rock when there is a great clap of thunder, several flashes of lightning, and yes, a trumpet call. our hero has arrived, j. bowden hapgood!

[hapgood, spoken]
excuse me, but could you direct me to the cookie jar?

[schub, spoken]
what for? there’s n0body there, they’re all here. now, doctor, here’s our problem in a nutsh*ll

[cora, spoken]
oh, schub, haha ha ha haha

[schub, spoken]
we must know immediately which of the people on that line are bonafide pilgrims, entitled to take our miracle waters, and which are—

[hapgood, spoken]
cookies?
[schub, spoken]
yes!

[hapgood, spoken]
shall we dance?

[schub, spoken]
what the h*ll is this?

[hapgood, spoken]
i have to think, and i think best on my feet. and i must think of a quick way to discover who’s who, and what is what, and make everybody—

[schub, spoken]
yes?

[hapgood, spoken]
—happy! mayor?

[cora, spoken]
you may. but, how are you going to separate them?

- carnegie hall concert cast of anyone can whistle 1995 lyrics

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